honestly from a womens perspective it is very upsetting to hear. we imagine growing up finding a man who will only have eyes for us. and although some a loose in their sexual experiences some of us do take it very seriously and find it a sacred thing that is only to be shared with out spouses. people will call it childish but everyone has their own opinions and i’m thinking your wife thinks conservatively like i do. many thoughts go through my head on the subject like am i not good enough? why am i not good enough? is he going to cheat? is there more i don’t know? is this man a sex addict? it hurts to imagine your SO getting off to another person and feels similar to cheating. i would tread lightly and create a safe environment for her to open these feelings up to you so you can make her feel securely. i think a lot of times people don’t want to accept reality so they’ll say “ it has to be something else” when really it is exactly what it is you just have a different perspective and have a hard time sympathizing. if i found my husband watching porn i would be devastated. it’s important to discuss these boundaries in marriage because everyone has different expectations and moralities on these subjects. i think your wife is genuine and truly upset and although it may sound stupid to you it may feel to her as though you’ve been unfaithful and if you’re serious about her then you should try to be empathetic and address these issues gently with her and help her find the security she is probably desperately looking for right now to hold on. betrayal hurts deeply when it’s from a person you put above everyone else. everyone’s definition of cheating is different but regardless it all hurts the same.