Repeat after me okay?
It is….what it is…..
I too have been the ‘victim’ of a sexless anniversary and/or birthday. If she’s tired then she’s tired, nothing you can do about that. Refusing sympathy sex is the best thing you can ever do.
You won’t be right now, but you will be grateful in the future that she didn’t ‘pretend/fake’ excitement she didn’t have. You do not want to be in a relationship with a partner that fakes. It won’t just end at excitement. They’ll start to fake so much more.
Someone else had a similar post to yours so I’ll tell you what I told them. Initiating sex is not the same as flirting.
Man to man, I understand why you said crazy sex. You had a great night, adrenaline pumping. You were excited and on a high. Tame your excitement. Judging from the way your night ended I would say your wife might be one of those. Those ones that communicate more with non-verbal cues.
When she said she had ‘planned’ did she pull in close to tell you like it was a dirty secret? Or she said it while looking away or creating distance. Learn her body language. Sometimes we miss small details that can save our night. If in that moment you had read the room your night would’ve ended great.
You probably knew/know all that and just needed reminding. Lastly, don’t plan elaborate dates or anything that takes too much effort if it hurts you when you are inevitably rejected. Keep it simple and thoughtful. Low effort. Low risk. Low expectations. Less hurt. Less disappointment.
Repeat after me again,
It is…..what it is