Lol my kink is constantly being attacked, I have to be cautious when joining groups because sometimes people will join them just to expose the members to their local community and shame them. Groups like that are the reason many don’t feel comfortable with themselves, because people won’t give us a chance to just be ourselves. Maybe it’s not that important but I personally dealt with self harm because I was rejecting my kink for a long time, due to the way those people act. She should at least realize that just because she can say anything online and shame whoever doesn’t mean they aren’t being affected negatively. All those groups do is teach people with kinks to hide it and be ashamed, not ‘get over them’

But..genuinely there’s no reason to shame anyone at all. My personal, general rule is as long as it’s not hurting someone that is unconsenting. Or involving people/things that can’t consent. Then who the hell cares? It’s their life and not hers to be involved with.

It really sounds to me like she’s ashamed of her own kinks and thinks putting others down for theirs will ease her pain. All I can really suggest is to straight up tell her she’s being hypocritical, and ask her if she’s genuinely gaining anything from these groups, aside from the adrenaline of being mean to others. Maybe not rudely but if she keeps shutting the conversation down you might just need to be more assertive about it since it’s something that bothers you. If it’s a result of her upbringing (a conservative family one for example) then maybe therapy would be required. But it seems that she just needs to realize she’s doing harm, and bullying, to people not hurting anyone and generally minding their own business.

Or, generic response here,