Wife's mom wants me to plan her retirement, but it's a mess

Don't mix business and pleasure. Hopefully, your wife would be able to see that this is a lose/lose if you do it and wouldn't blame you, but your relationship with your in laws would likely never recover. I 1000% agree with all the people saying this is just a subconscious attempt to not be responsible for their own situation. You almost certainly will be the scapegoat when retirement isn't the dream they want.

Just tell them, I don't think it's wife to mix business and pleasure. But here are a few well reviewed Financial Advisors. The end.

I don't think I'd go the route of gifting them, or even suggesting Dave Ramsey. If for no other reason as they'll likely see it as you passing judgment on their lifestyle. Ramsey is condescending and super critical of his "clients" and it's unlikely they'll miss the clearly implied judgment on their situation. Thus creating some potential for more family drama. If you want to gently nudge them toward a lifestyle change, maybe gift her a Jean Chatzky book. Chatzky tailors her advice toward women, though it's practical to anyone, and she's not judgmental or condescending in her advice. When people ask her a question she simply answers it without personal judgment. Which, would probably be the ideal for this situation. It might be a gateway to your in laws making their way to Ramsey, or to you suggesting him later if the opportunity arises.

/r/personalfinance Thread