Things that I have not gotten fired over:

Sitting on a meeting with the laptop unmuted on the bathroom sink while I took a post-withdrawal atomic opiate shit, complete with utterances/curses while I swayed in and out of delirium.

Got told by another employee that he was going to kill me then I dared him to try and got in his face and screamed at him to start the killing or I would start some of my own. I think we were both pretty intoxicated.

Having sex with another employee in the woods behind the building and also in the deluxe off bathroom shower after hours.

Emerging shirtless from my hotel room on a business trip screaming to "BEHOLD GOD'S POWER!" to the atrium where other employees were gathered. I was psychotically intoxicated for this one.

Rage quitting the job and walking off only to just show up the next day like it never happened.