I love dancing. I love closing my eyes and feeling the thrum of huge speakers wash over me, pulsating through my body, letting me let go and just release myself to the music. While I'm not always into "Club music", I just love dancing. I haven't gone out to do so in literally years. For one year, the same year I realised I loved to dance, I did the whole club scene. This was over five years ago. I stopped, effectively, because of sexual assaults. Half of the time I'd go out, someone would lay their hands on me. Whether I was unaware they were dancing behind me and they'd suddenly start grinding against me, or people trying to shove their tongues down my throat, it seems that unless I'm with a male someone will decide that I'm there to attract sexual attention - when really I was just trying to get my groove on and alleviate stress. All but one time, when I went to the bouncers, the response I got was "Did he hurt you? No? Oh, well, boys will be boys." The one time the bouncer threw the guy out, though only one in about a hundred times. Then the (Married) bouncer asked for my number and (Despite being about 30 years older than me at the time) and continued to be mean to me each time I went there after I refused. Just because a person physically harms you doesn't mean they're not harming you in other ways. I've been afraid to go dancing for years, now. Just because of a bunch of assholes who assumed that my (utterly self-absorbed) dancing was meant to be a lure for them. I've had more people than I can count shove their tongues down my throat, grope my ass, grind against me, feel me up, and generally do things I'm utterly uncomfortable with... just because I was trying to ignore the world and get my groove on. I'm a relatively shy person. I'm slow to romance. I've had my share of flings and the like, and am no way a prude, but... my personal space is my personal space. Can't people talk to me first, see if I'm into it BEFORE they invade it? I miss dancing in strobe lights, to the heady thrum of a huge speaker where you can feel the beat through your whole body. But after one, single year of trying to do so I've given up. It's events like this that make me loath being female. I just want to feel safe to express myself physically, but apparently that's not allowed.