I was in the same or similar since we all have our own experiences. My dad committed suicide and the Apple didn’t fall far from the tree growing up. That extreme emptiness is so hard to shake, my alternative was drugs which only helped in the moment. But this will sound odd if something similar has happened in your life..etc bad events. My dads death ended up teaching and having me think really deeply about afterlife and actual truths rather than some book in the base form religions. It made me go so low that I found the depths of my soul because I was so deep in the water (water in this case is a metaphor for consciousness). I didn’t like anyone, the only thing I somewhat enjoyed was video games. The pessimist of constant bad thoughts would hate myself, hate this world, hate hate hate hate and its very hard to escape. But in the result of this experience it will help you evolve even tho it’s so hard to think that in this state. You will become very empathetic for other people and be a helpful source for other people struggling through the same thing you did as I did, the everlasting passing of the torch you could say for lack of a better term. While you are having the worst of times right now. You will help others. Start reading reading reading, while videos can be procrastination. Watch some helpful YouTube videos on getting out of a rut... self help etc... I still feel that emptiness but that love will come through. You will find a passion that fills you up with joy. Mines music even if it’s not one I share with others it’s a form of medication or meditation for myself to release bad thoughts. Find that, art or any creative process. If you’re not into that then even just writing in a notebook all of your issues. All of the steps you can take to improve. Working out, eating healthy, having new experiences, going hiking and whatever else may come. I still don’t wanna do anything and I get stuck. But we have to force ourselves to get out there. The worlds not the same without us. We still have part to play and help this earth in our own ways. A base form religion to read about are Buddhism and hinduism. Learn about chakras even if it sounds like bullshit and move on to other things past these base forms and keep soaking in knowledge and uhhh maybe a unpopular or weird thing to say to another person. Maybe if nothing else works take some mushrooms haha. Sounds bad recommending a hallucinogen to a depressed person. Don’t take to much cause you’ll be off your rocker. But take a little dose and dig within. That’s the last chance you can say that you can give yourself if you still want to end. Say well if I’m gonna fucking end this shit might as well take a little trip and listen to this random guy on the internet. Of course there hard to find just something that helped me along my path. If you need anything. Hmu, I gotchu and you got this. I believe in you