I can relate to this so much. I would send rambling texts/emails to people when my delusions take control of my brain. They get weirded out and cut me off or I get embarrassed so I never reach out again. I don’t have many hallucinations and the delusions have a different flavor than what schizophrenic folks usually experience, but delusions distort your perception a lot while you can seem okay…until you share what’s going on beneath the surface and push everyone away. I learned to keep my thoughts to myself no matter how well I think I am because I’m never completely certain I’m not delusional. It took a long time to figure that out.