I wish I was normal

Sending you a virtual hug.

I hear you and empathize with you. I have anxiety/depression/PTSD. My anxiety/PTSD melt downs have caused so much damage to relationships throughout my life so I can relate.

First: you seem incredibly empathetic which is an incredible trait to have. The fact that you don’t want others to be uncomfortable shows your compassion. Please consider taking a moment to appreciate this wonderful gift you have. The world needs more people like this, not less.

Social skills can be learned at any age. The fact that you recognize areas that might need some improvement is insightful and shows you are willing to make adjustments if necessary. I would also consider if you really are being “weird” or if this is just your perception. Often times anxiety and depression distort our thinking and our perception.

Anxiety and depression also make us withdraw more which can lead to a cycle of making the anxiety and depression worse. If possible, get some exercise, be around people or animals, do things that make you feel good.

I hope you are reaching out for professional help. I was in group therapy years ago and it sucked so much, but was also very helpful. I’ve also had lots of private therapy throughout my life. I’ve learned that therapy is something I will need periodically and that’s ok.

One last thing, “normal” is a judgement we assign certain things based on our thinking. When I’m able to let go of judgement and to just observe and let life unfold, I’m a fuck ton happier or at least way more content. Anxious and depressed brains love to judge and they are full of distorted thinking. This is why I strongly recommend therapy because a therapist can help you learn how to cope with and navigate the distortions and judgments your brain is telling you.

You aren’t alone. There are lots of us that feel the same or similar feelings. Getting professional help can really make a big difference.

Be well.

/r/SuicideWatch Thread