Keep seeking professional help. Do it even if you really don't want to. If you don't like the first person you see, try someone else. You're smart, you know that, you said you already had.

Find a thing. A video game, books, a craft, tv show, running, anything. Just something to focus on. (I cross-stitch because its really easy once you know how to do it, but also requires your immediate focus. I like games too.) Use that to fill time. When you find yourself having a really bad hour, go to that. Sometimes your goal is just to get from right now til dinner/bed/school. Sometimes you just need to kill time. That's okay. Talk about it all you want, think about it all you want. But have a plan to help you shift your focus when you're ready. I can only speak for myself, but it helps.

Everyone else has said it already, because it's the truth and you can't hear it too much right now. This isn't your fault. You did nothing wrong. I hope you take anything that helps you from this thread and leave the rest. Thank you for sharing your story.