God doesn't make the world a terrible place, we do. All the hate and malice we create and perpetuate is truly a horror.

To be honest, I don't want the people I love to die and suffer, or all the good things that I love about existence to end, but I no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything that I see in our world is tainted by own hand of sadism and it hurts to know that every chance I get to help it will be curbed by the people who would sooner see themselves destroyed than give a shit about other people.

Nihilism is the only real faith I have left. I know it's pointless (and sounds edgy af), but if I can make another person or animal avoid the soul crushing emptiness that I feel every day, I will make it all worth it. At least to me.