This woman just surprise-poo'd as she walked into the shop

Hi-jacking the top comment to tell my story, which will probably get lost in the mix anyway.

Years and years ago at the place where I worked at the time, we had an incident.

We're returning from lunch and walking back to our offices. A co-worker notices something on the ground outside his office, in the walkway that separates the wall of offices from the line of cubicles outside of them. He's not wearing his glasses, so he mistakes it for a brown paper bag. He pushes it with his foot to move it to the side...and his foot slides right through it.

It's no bag - it's a pile of poo. And now it's smeared on the floor. Word spreads like wildfire. We all gather to gawk, groan and whisper about the pile of poo in the middle of the floor in our mid-rise office building. How did it get there? Did someone have a dog up here? No, there's no way. A small child maybe? Haven't seen any...and how would it have managed to cop a squat and poo in the middle of the floor without anyone noticing? We're stumped. How in the world did a pile of poo randomly end up in the hallway.

As we're all disgustedly talking about it (And of course making sure to stop by and look at it - who, in their entire professional life, has ever heard of something like this happening before in a fairly luxurious office space?), a random co-worker exasperatedly sighs at us all, and reprovingly states "Fine, I'll clean it up - I'm a mother. It's not that big a deal." We're shocked. No way I'm touching that poo! I can't believe she's going to do it. This is nuts. Just wait for the building staff to come and clean it up - you know, with gloves and chemicals and such.

But sure enough. She goes and gets some paper towels from the bathroom, scoops it up and disposes of it in the bathroom. I'm choking back the impulse to retch. I can't believe she did it. What could possibly possess someone to willingly offer to clean up someone else's pile of sh...then it hits me!

Could it be? Could she be the culprit? Was this the mystery poo-er returning to the scene of the crime to clean up her mess? It's plausible. Who else would willingly do it otherwise?!? But how could it have happened without anyone noticing? Wait...she's wearing a skirt. No...could it be? Did she drop a drive-by deuce? I quickly confessed my theory to some of my closest confidants at the office. For years, it's remained our most plausible theory. I've always maintained that it had to be her. It had to be. But we had no proof - only a theory. Could a person really drop a deuce mid-stride, even if they're wearing a skirt? After all, they've have to be going commando - and who does that?

Well, now we have our evidence. It's plausible. It can indeed happen. This video settles it. The pooper scooper had to have been the enigmatic deuce dropper.

Case closed.

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