Women of reddit, what about men baffles you the most?

I had a huge response written out and then I deleted it! Sorry-I just felt a bit too vulnerable talking about my own issues in detail on reddit.

But one point I mentioned was that you sound quick-tempered-that you get a bit mad but then get over it easily whereas your girlfriend sounds hot-tempered-that she gets angry very easily, remains angry for hours before eventually calming down a bit.

I think this can cross into emotional abuse so I would advise you to read up on domestic abuse and know the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. (If you google online, you'll get stuff-try any domestic abuse website). If it's not abuse, then it's definitely an unhealthy relationship dynamic. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn by saying this but women aren't the only victims of domestic abuse so it's useful to be informed so that you're able to spot it.

It's one thing being emotional and then it's another thing to lose your temper all the time. Personal attacks and saying how wrong you are is aggressive behavior and is uncalled for really. Assertive behavior is better-there's book on the different types of communication skills. I'm guessing that you don't like arguments so you want the argument to end quickly or avoid arguments.

If you're being attacked all the time, then naturally your sympathy and empathy will dry up. It's hurtful to be attacked in such a manner, not to mention unwarranted. I think that putting up walls is a short-term strategy..that it's not something you can keep doing forever. Eventually, something inside you will snap and you'll think "I've enough of this". It's just not sustainable. I was diagnosed with anger management issues by a therapist and have worked on that but I was also with a really angry guy at one point and I felt like I was going crazy. He would constantly overreact to things and I'd try to keep the peace but I felt like I was going mad. I was moody, erratic and I couldn't say anything right according to him. He criticized me all the time and it was so demoralizing. I lost all my self-esteem and it took me ages to build it back up again. I can still remember all his horrible criticisms and insults so it had a long-lasting effect on me.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent