I used to have a boyfriend who told me I was selfish and rude for being raped. I would sometimes get flashbacks to what had happened and it would terrify me and I would need to pull away from his arms because the sensation of being touched triggered flashbacks to what had happened. It wasn't just him touching me, it could also have been from washing myself in the shower or leaning against a tall counter. Basically the sensation of having pressure on my body.

He would get angry at me and rant at me every time and say I was horrible for treating him like he was one of the bad guys and how dare I only think about myself and not him.

That relationship ended a very long time ago but I still feel so much shame and anger, knowing he could say things that fucking horrible and selfish. It took a very long time to break that brainwashing that he did to me.