I was at the local adult candy store getting wine when a redneck hick behind me said, "What a nice ass on her!" I was the only woman in the store.

I could have pissed barbed wire and hand grenades I was so mad. Not exactly because of that single comment, but I'd been having a bad day - thus the wine -and it was almost the final straw.

I chose to ignore the comment because beating someone's teeth out with a bottle of wine is frowned upon by the local mounties. As I was paying for the wine, the redneck said, "Lookit them sweet buns" in a low voice...but everyone heard it.

There was a numb calm before the storm; the portent of doom that no one could hear but everyone could feel down to the marrow in their bones.

I was so livid that my fucking irises were twitching. I felt like giving him a nutectomy with the broken end of a wine bottle...but the law thing that kept getting in my way. Instead, I approached him and gave him a giant hug and walked out.

I giggled so much my ribs hurt.

Granted, the incident played out in under thirty seconds, but it left everyone in the store uncomfortable, and the hug must have been an odd moment for them:

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

The "redneck" was my recently ex bf. We departed on very amicable terms, but he always loved giving me a poke because it would result in getting a giggle out of me.