I wasn’t as young as many of the stories here, I was 17 when he was 23-24(?) and I think that’s why I didn’t view it as predatory for a long time. I still struggle with wanting to defend his side.

I lived in an abusive household and was pretty desperate to feel loved during high school, so I went on dating apps at way too young of an age. That’s where we met.

I tried to stop talking to him many times only to come crawling back out of loneliness, and he convinced me our connection was extraordinary. I also kept returning out of guilt because he convinced me that I was hurting him, that I was evil for abandoning him many times and leading him on. For years he still attempted to contact me and convince me his unhappiness was my fault. He blamed me for his eating disorder that he developed. He blamed me for getting married to someone he didn’t love. And I believed him and apologized many times.

He prided himself on never pressuring me to do anything sexual with him as a minor, I think that’s how he justified it to himself. But he tried to force me to have romantic feelings, to feel the same as him, to want to be intimate in other ways when I was just a confused teenager who wanted to feel listened to by someone.