I'm pretty late to the show but I struggle with this because I'm a bodybuilding competitor in the figure division. So I'm not huge by my standards, and I definitely don't look super masculine. But I do have quite a bit of muscle on me.

All my life I was a tiny, skinny, little blonde girl. Then I got into lifting and competing. I love the way I look in many ways and the lifestyle is good for me. But there are times that I feel like I lost most of my femininity. For instance, a couple summers ago I was a bridesmaid in a good friends' wedding. We were all trying on bridesmaid dresses and the other girls looked really good in a lot of them. I looked so god awful and awkward in them. I have an hourglass figure and a big ass so in that way I'm sill very feminine looking, but then I have pec muscles instead of boobs and big shoulders and arms. And my damn traps grow when I so much as look at them. It made me feel terrible and I was uncomfortable for most of the wedding over it.

I've thought about getting implants, and I might. But deep down a large part of me feels it's irresponsible, vain, and I'm very scared of hospitals. It might help me feel like a woman more, but what if it doesn't? I've mostly come to just accept myself. I have a boyfriend who is pretty good about complimenting my body. I have things about me that I like, like my butt and my face and hair. So I focus on making my butt bigger, my hair longer and healthier, and my makeup on point. I do what I can to emphasize what I feel makes me still look feminine. Then I try to remember that other people really wish they looked like me. Just like I really wish I looked like so many women, of all shapes and sizes. Super skinny girls, super muscular, thick and curvy, I find so many women so attractive. And I think that's how most of us are, right?! For instance, I would kill for broader shoulders because I strive to have an X-frame. Broad shoulders and lats, tiny waist, big legs. The broader the shoulders the smaller your waist looks. And being taller, hah that's something I've wanted literally my entire life. And don't get me started on women with androgynous facial features! I die.

I guess the cliche "accept yourself for who you are" holds true for me. I change what I can about my body but at the end of the day you just have to appreciate what you have. Even feeling like some of your features aren't what you'd like them to be, is a much better situation than being chronically ill or unable to use your body, or generally hating your entire body. Everyone has at least one attractive thing about them, and most have much more than that, they just don't see it themselves. It's all about how you carry yourself, and confidence can get you pretty damn far.