I work in a job where I get yelled at relatively often, or otherwise mistreated over the phone. It's really hard on me and I would love some practical advice to help me learn to manage it.

I don't have much to offer except that I'm in a very similar situation and react the same way. I work in a clinical laboratory, and speaking to frustrated doctors and nurses is easily the worst part of my job. It doesn't matter if they are literally shouting at me over the phone, if they make snide remarks about my work ethic, or just hang up on me as I'm speaking-- it all absolutely crushes me since I work so hard to help them as best I can. My more seasoned co-workers tell me not to take it personally, or that with time it doesn't get to you as much, but it seems impossible some days.

Let yourself feel hurt and disappointed. Bill Burr once talked about how his anger issues result from him being an optimist/idealist, always expecting others to be kind/good people. When they inevitably aren't, that disappointment in others is what causes the feelings of frustration. That really resonated with me even though I thankfully don't have anger issues, lol. Pride yourself on holding yourself to a higher standard. Being able to show compassion to a stranger when an issue arises is so much more powerful than being a nasty, verbally abusive hobgoblin with an EQ of 4, who can't see that being kind serves their own interests in the long run. As petty as it is, it also comforts me to think that, if they are this nasty and cruel to a complete stranger on the phone, then the relationships they have in their personal life must be equally as nasty and unpleasant. Nasty propagates nasty. Don't view your sensitivity as a weakness. Your work is valued and so are you, even if this is a temporary situation! <3 :)

/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide Thread