World Arthritis Day 2018 - I am a University professor researching arthritis-related pain - AMA

I hope I'm not too late for you guys!

TD:DR:  I have chronic joint paint from Rocky spotted fever and lymes disease.

Can SOCSA or CSB cause joint pains like arthritis? Is it purely hereditary or can outside forces, either viruses/disease or in mental/sexual abuse?

Long story: 10/10 stoned af atm in CO shatter, fyi.

I contracted RMSP and Lymes disease on a several day hike on the Appalachian trail back in 2014 and was within 12hrs of being past viable/successful treatmen. since treatment in the hospital I have signs of rumitory arthritis ever since in my calve the ticks bit

I've been to the Mayo clinic and they didnt find any neurological disorders or arthritis, just gastroparesis, IBS, GAD, PTSD, low fiber and magnesium. Srrange thing is my leg, where I got the bites, swells up bad some morning and i know the pains gonna be a 10/10. This happens more often in cold weather or a nightterror. Which makes doctors say its psychological and PTSD treatment (ketamine infusions, ketamine assisted therapy, EMDR and I'm just starting brainspotting sense emdr was so successful. TMUI = too much unnecessary information.

Sometimes i can't get out of bed it hurts so bad, cant walk on it, swells up red and hot to the touch. Ran a battery of blood disease tests last year and they all came back negative. Was told it appeared anxiety related. I'd been on an SSRI and playing that game for 3 years to.find the right medications. (Dont give up, even after the old meds stop working, try another. You have options l, dont settle for "fine" or "surviving" -- my current state, but don't settle for fine or surviving or getting by, in a day of the internet, globalization we can settle for nothing less than thriving. Thrive, don't just survive.

We have evolved past the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and are on the cusp of psychological needs and self fulfillment. Which means the lower towers of need are no longer on the raiders and global leaders especially as the internet reaches 3rd world countries. At each new hierarchy of needs we see a new, real glimpse into a humans intent, actions, there beliefs, moral compass, and what game they're playing. I do not meam to imply life is a game, as In no consequence, its all a game. It's like dark souls meets an open world game environment when I call life a game. Its difficult, hell and rigged against you, but you find the limits of the game and rules that are more like guidelines, which rules are in place for those in power, and the seperate and unfair rule or law that governments and corporations do and don't apply to those in government.

Its during these shifts up the maslow's hierarchy human behaver shows its darker, nature. We are animals that have evolved to think, and even question our own consciousness. Their baser animal instincts come into play as the resources we need to thrive on change or running out, even in the name of advancement up to maslaw ladder, globalization via the internet and social media has made personal information and  personal consumption globally possible, for better and worse, it's happened and happening more. But I'm rambling.... again. Sorry, I posted the TLDR up to so it you're with me still, I'm rolling prescription ketamine and it's been a literally life saver. I know this post got long and depressing, but I haven't perfected my elevator speech for "I grew up in a conservative community with limited access to the outside world, home schooled, rain away got q degree at UNC Chapel Hill and now live out west with a family I am creating as my siblings are still brain washed. I have an in into my family. Two of my sisters know about the abuse and believe me, and are questioning their beliefs. That's a first in ~30 years.

There are so many old "demons" left in power, like bloatware installed on you're computer, it's not easy to full uninstall the programs others have installed on you.

We are all struggling to find our own answers to lifes question why we are here, but that reason changes as our resources change and we lose higher brain function when I we lose resources we count on daily like food, water, shelter, protection, socializing, and recognition of self worth and, of course, the resources we fight and clamor for fearing being left out, fossil fuel.

Cheating with cheaters starts a tit for tat, and while I'm all for a tit for a tit, its not a viable long term solution they results in a fairly representative of all groups, minorities especially.

I have no  idea how I got into the game of life, the rules are closer to common card games like Egyptian Poker, Rummy and Monopoly. And we're not all playing the same game, which means we can all "win" because it's a sims game, only people won't drown in your pool without a ladder to get out. :P but it requires a change a social revolution, to move to a cyclical economy not a resource/user driven economy.

Long story short turns out I was part of a cult and resocializing feels like being a foreigners in your own country. Social anxiety doesnt seem to affect the pain levels though. While social anxiety is not 100% of what I'm feeling, it's a majority of it  became I have the physical swelling at the bite mark's. And the tick bites were set off the train of actions leading to a PST psychiatric and psychologist. It's hard to know what was from the childhood trauma and what was from diseases caught afterward. The disease perpetrated the  gastroparesis and other dietary issue where I dropped down from 135lbs to currently 101.4, and I desperately am trying to gain weight before next month, 115 to be exact. Trying to get over the fear of eating that came from my abusers being overweight and I sometimes fear I'm just as dirty as the monsters, then I trigger and don't eat for 3 days before I break down for some fries or bowl of cereal. I've working to eat one small meal a day. I don't have anorexia, I'm just allergic to most foods and suffer hours of gastro pain afterwards. :( this got so much worse after the bite, if the leg is swollen I know I'll have bad anxiety that day too, probably get triggered at work. Its oddly usefully and horribly at the same time, to wake up and know how my day is going to be emotionally.

When my right calve is acting up, its Hot to the touch, so painful the feeling of a pillow against the lower calve hurts to the touch. Because of my gastrointestinal issues I'm typically not prescriptioned any painmedicain to me, for fear of slowing my metabolism further and dropped below 100lb and (I'm 5 6). Celibrex helps but mess with my SSRI and xanax, no good, heart rate drops too low.

My joints hurt all the time and feel like they protest every movement in my body. This scares me going into the future, I'm seen a dermatologist who pointed me to the the disease and infection doctor. We tested everything but STDs as I've always used protection and have been in managmous relationships, but I'm ready to pull the trigger on getting a std test, especially when the new memories of the cult, the PTSD makes it frightening to go a get a test. I was tested for generic stds 3years ago, past the events at the church and turned out clean, but I was fresh out of the cult (ATI by Bill Gothard) and still believe[ed] the lies and brainwashing so long it's taken me 5 years to discover the trauma I went through and connecting the dots I dont often know the question to ask so how about a semi anonymous blog platform. I feel like a STD would be disocorved by now because I'm been in and out the hospital since i starter showing abuse signs around 8 and it was until I was 24 that I had my first night terrors, unable to wake up from a 5yr old being molested at a different church which often lack child care laws/rules in place ' the policy is usually "more hands with the kids, the better. You're a saint to watch the kids."

But they weren't saints, just wolves - no monters, in sheeps clothing running the show using kids who were preverbal - still on diapers. I dont want to play the victim card, a roll i often submit myself too subconsciously, but I was a victim of their abuse and that stole my childhood, innocence and trust at a young age, 3 or 4. I'm trying to separate the damages they causes and the flaws of who I am as a human in the world damaged, it's a struggle  but not out of the game yet. Still fighting for the humanity they tried to take from me, and distilling the world through a clear lenses not one or sex shaming, child molestations who are clergy of many use the faith for selflessness, abusing and controlling humans through partial truth fowled with lies. It's not just in religion, its also baked into our commerce/capitalist system. A systemic problem to having a incorrect/imperfect social structures and governments thats increasing having to globalize and change more rapidly than they were designed for. But I digress. Ketamine is a hell of a drug, makes me ramble.

My treatment are too expensive to continue, (ketamine infusion every 3 weeks)  not covered by most insurance companies, and so I'm looking for new tools and coping mechanisms. I know this post is rambled too long, full of superfluous information while possibly being condescending, that means talking down to other people, but ketamine is a hell of a drug and I can reach out for help when on it. DID is a hell of a coping mechanisms and ketamine breaks the barrier between my two identities, it makes me feel like I can become me again, go by my birth name and, but a big part of this is figuring out what's normal and what's not normal. , Rumitory arthritis medications make the pain manageable as does your common medications like cyclobenzaprine/flexeril. But nothing has taken away the leg and calve muscle swelling and joint pain is like none other. Like taking a 48hr MDMA trip with no vitamin prep nor magnesium or worse, no chew toy or gum. :D

/r/IAmA Thread