5 He listens to soothing music in the woods, the melody carries him to the distance, as if far into the past lives. He's not sure whether past lives exist, he simply feel nostalgic with that boy, so familiar that it feel like they've long been together, studying, visiting foreign towns, skiing, sinking their bodies into snow and laughing. There is no verifying, to him it might as well be happy delusions that make his current situation miserable.
"Look at my hideous face, I was born a monster, this is not what I want to be. I don't deserve, I can't possibly... "I don't understand why I did those things, there is no reversing my mistakes, I have blood in my hands... "Of course there is no way that he likes me, he's just being nice is all... While me, without the ability to be nice... "I used to shut myself in because I didn't give a shit, now I shut myself in because I don't want to hurt, I after all, don't have the ability to be nice... "Reject me, that's fine, leave me, let me be, it has always been this way, it's how it should be, you have your life, I have mine, I'm a vagrant... "Alone in this world... Is it my fault, or it is my upbringing? I've no interest blaming others, I'm just grateful, that I got to meet that boy, who accepted me... I'm not his type, I'm a demon, eventually, he dislikes me... "He was just trying to be nice. "I wish he could come back to me... But if needs be, I'll have to manage on my own, then die a solitary death, it ain't too bad..."
"Lol, what are you mumbling about?" Tim glomps that pensive demon, "I've got a recipe for a bread, les bake it." Fill is trying to hold back his tears, he's almost embarrassed of what he's been thinking. As if a sunray filtering through the leaves, lighting up the dark shadows.
"That's super paranoia from me. I'm not, alone. He's alway there, by my side... Thanks, Tim."