I find myself both agreeing and disagreeing with what you’ve said, and also curious about how you come to such an assertion. I would agree that one shouldn’t enter a romantic relationship because of anticipated or expected mental health support. Regardless of whether the partner is healthy himself or not, he shouldn’t ever be in the position of therapist.

I was a young woman with a mental illness and told by medical professionals not to date for roughly similar reasons (although without the insulting insinuation that only troubled and abusive men would want to date us). I followed the advice and didn’t date until I was quite stable and had been so for an extended time. When I did finally get involved with someone, I still ran into all the same issues you mention. Additionally, as I healed and spoke with many, many (20+) women friends of similar age, but largely without the serious illness I had coped with, most had had experiences similar to mine on some level or another.

Best I can tell, young relationships are often full of manipulation and abuse, and accepting abuse as normal has more to do with upbringing and home environment than mental illness (although hi there strong correlates). As long as we aren’t talking teenager hormones, then relationship skills are something you learn on the fly as you go, and not necessarily as you get older.

In general though I would agree that if you have an active and acute illness that is compromising your ability to function or take care of yourself - whether thats a physical illness or a mental illness - then it’s best to stabilize first before diving into romantic dating.