Okay. Okay. Very funny!
So, I'm Nathan from Texas and I've been set-up but I'm playing along. I got this box in the mail yesterday. Inside was an oil lamp and a note.
The note read,
"I have inspired someone to post a writing prompt on www.reddit.com, on or close to midnight on the 15th day, of the 1st month, of the year 2015. You'll see a prompt about a Genie to which I kindly request that you answer with the attached story.
This is my obituary. Please share my story and keep the antique lamp as a gift for your troubles. Do take care not to damage the lamp. It is the last of its kind. The note gave instructions for opening a reddit account (easy) and subscribing to r/writingprompt. Curiosity got the best of me so here I am and sure enough, the Genie prompt shows up.
My first freaking thought was simply, Holy Crap! Seriously?
Thanks for the lamp, I guess. It does look really old but I'm scared to open it and am a little freaked out. This whole set-up is cool but, whoever you are, please don't leave me guessing for too long. I already have high blood-pressure. :-)
For now, I'll play along. Below is your enclosed story.
""1,500 years old, Genie! Fifteen... Hundred... Years." Cainnech (Kenneth or Kenny, as he is known these days) was sitting in his car, overlooking his favorite place in the world. He looked back down at the lamp in his lap. He always talked to him in preparation before rubbing him out. (It's a little known fact that Genies can't hear you while they're in their lamp. It's like a built in safety mechanism to keep the owner from accidentally making an unwanted wish.)
"I think maybe my last wish will be for death. I've seen enough death in my lifetime that I'm starting to feel left out. What's next Genie? What comes after all this?" Kenny thought back to his days in Ireland when he made his first wish.
He was just trying to clean the old lamp when, pop went the Genie. His first wish was practically a reflex. Within half a second of being offered 3 wishes, he blurted out, "immortality!"
Genie granted his wish but it took about 30 years for Kenny to see any result. During that time, he developed a friendship with his "hallucination" but felt remorse every time he rubbed him out.
"I need to throw this lamp away."
"I'm mad! I just mad!"
"Genies are NOT real."
"I still look so young!"
"Why do I still look so young?"
The day he finally admitted to himself that his first wish had been granted; Cainnech's view on life, his lamp, Genies, and the supernatural, were forever changed.
"Surely if Genies are real, God must be real. Who else could make such a creature? Thank you Lord for such a gift you have given me! I will use it to fight for you."
He was 50 years old but still looked like he was 20. He had grown a beard to hide his face and had become a monk. Being a monk helped because he was able to wear a hood over his head without looking suspicious. Many
Now, 1,450 years later, Kenny rubbed the lamp and out came his familiar friend.
"Genie, my first wish has allowed me these many years to make amends for how I used my second wish. The druids were a noble people, an innocent people. I have worked hard for so long. I feel that I have done all I can do. I am tired and I just want to move on. I have selected someone that I feel will make wise use of your friendship and service while keeping your true identity a secret. I am sending you to him.
Goodbye dear friend."
"Genie, for my last wish I ask that you help me hold back my tears while allowing the decay of my old age to catch up to me within 1 hour.""