"Really," said the alien skeptically, "you didn't think we knew you existed?"

It stood at a podium at the center of a vast hemisphere; smaller platforms studded the outer surface of the room, upon which sat representatives of almost every tribe and state on the planet. No groups could claim bias, as all were situated equidistant from the visitor, in neutral territory. No person could claim lack of representation; indeed, the crowd represented the gender, sexuality, religion, ethnicity, and socioeconomic background of every human on the planet almost exactly. On each human's neck was a small adhesive patch above the spine; through it, the visitor's words were translated effortlessly in the dialect the representative was most familiar, with neither lag nor loss of information.

Behind the speaker was what appeared to be an incredible glass construct; a sheer, single panel that offered the delegation an incredible look at their planet. It was no surprise to the visitor that the blue and green orb had awed them beyond words. As the first explorers of many Tier 0 civilizations had noted, all it took was a single glance at their home to dispel any notion of disunity from their mind.

Still, the question posed by the Bilen delegate was an interesting one.

"We've only broadcast transmissions for the past two-hundred-odd years; that would be an immensely tiny portion of the observable universe!" chipped in the Japanese delegate.

"Oh, of course, quite right. I must apologize, I'm more used to dealing with more advanced civilizations, no offense. Yes, well, there are certain methods of superluminal communication that allow us to monitor data through a series of observers and relays. In your system we have three; one is buried under what is known as the "Yucatan peninsula". That one was sent when the data demonstrated the presence of advanced animals and photosynthetic activity dominating the biosphere. Unfortunately, we happened to decimate the local wildlife, but without that perhaps you wouldn't have existed, so here we are. The other two are buried deep inside Ceres and Quaoar. Given a few hundred cycles on your current track you would have likely found them, and we would have been introduced in an entirely different, more optimistic manner. But, to borrow a turn of phrase, your collectively "screwed the pooch" here."

The speaker paused for dramatic effect before continuing.

"Frankly speaking, most Tier 0 civilizations in carbon-rich environments manage to solve the energy issue without triggering collapse by getting their act together within fifty cycles of landing on the nearest body. But you; good heavens, it's been one hundred cycles and you've done nothing but keep kicking the can down the road!"

"Some of us rely on nuclear fission, and our fusion efforts are sure to come online shortly!" yelped the French delegate.

"Uranium fission works, sure, but I don't see the Zambian delegates getting power that way. And we both know you've been underfunded on fusion research since it started. So we're pulling the plug."

There was a collective gasp.

"That's right, you should be scared. Here's the plan. All the sub-tier zero tribes on this planet, of which there are several, get to stay here. In fact, they're not even represented in this delegation because they did nothing wrong, so they shouldn't have to pay the price. The rest of you get picked up by an Orbital that will be here in about one cycle. You get managed for the next three generations and educated on proper planetary stewardship, and then your grandchildren get to decide whether they want to stay on the Orbital, try their hand on colonizing, or go somewhere else in the galaxy. But this little experiment on Earth? Done."

"We won't let it happen!" shouted a red-faced delegate in a two-piece suit. The visitor looked at him for a moment before sighing and shaking his head. "Who's with me?!" There was silence.

"You know, that only works in movies. Something successful Tier-1 civilizations manage is not being swayed by their own entertainment." The visitor snarled. "We've broadcasted these proceedings to everything with a screen surface-side, so don't expect people to really rally behind you here. There will be a transition team in place to help you get ready for pickup in a couple days, and after that a cleanup crew to get the planet ready for the next evolutionary cycle. See you in the stars, folks."

And with that, the visitor left the room.