"The way this cosmos treats its seniors is a disgrace!" Dinoses repeated, for the umpteenth time that day. "Nearly two hundred million years, my kin ruled that ugly ball of rock! I was queen! Giver of Scales, Maker of Roars, Layer of the First Eggs! And what do I get in return?"
The abomination facing her let out a noxious sigh from one of his many beaks. It wasn't even bothered to be subtle by this point.
"Nothing! Fuck all! Asked to just, just pack up my things and leave the planet I rule! All because some rock-flinging //shoggoth// is //Lefgu//-bent on striking Earth! He could have taken any other planet in the Solar System - Mars, Mercury, Great Kreddle - actually, he may have struck that last one rather too hard, but-"
"Ms. Dinoses", the God of Occupational Reassignment spoke for the first time that day, "you've been explaining this to me for more than sixty-six eons, and I do have other clients to attend to".
"I know, it's just - I just..." the colossal reptoid collapsed into her chair, which was crushed beneath her immense weight. She was too glum to notice. "I don't wanna become a loser. I don't wanna become a do-nothing. I don't want to spend the next trillion years slurping can after can of Ambrosia Lite, watching reruns of //I Love Xochiquetzal//... even as a young salamander on Betelgeuse, I always promised my parents that no matter how low I sank, I would never be reduced to that..."
A member of a somewhat stoic race, the God of Occupational Reassignment had shown little sympathy for the goddess when he had first heard this story, much less the ten billionth. The stars were right, and he yearned to return to his home dimension. He had grown increasingly peckish over the countless eons, and the Great Sacrifice was taking place on the Third Moon of Wafmali-7. Feeling in the mood for Stew of Virgin, the God gave the matter some thought. Although reliable, Dinoses was ancient, even by divine standards. Few planets would take her on as a deity. But perhaps another, quicker solution could be found...
After offering the blubbering reptoid a particularly large tissue, the God patted her twice on the back with his top claw, a display of mock-sympathy.
"There there, Dinoses. I know just how you feel. You've given years of service, and you've been dismissed without so much as a word of thanks. You feel... cheated by the system."
"Exactly..." the reptoid whimpered.
"Not to worry. I've been giving it some thought, and I believe I may have found a satisfying solution."
//Fuck him//, Dinoses thought. It was more than thirty thousand years later, but she still remembered the six faces of the horror that had sent her here. //Fuck him, fuck his planet, fuck the whole Godsdamned Celestial Bureaucracy.// She gazed out the unbreakable glass window. Even the eldritch light of the Four Terrible Suns, said to have driven countless mortals to insanity, couldn't cheer her up now.
A group of disinterested schoolchildren from a nearby pulsar were spending the millenium at St. Ereshkigal's Retirement Home, doing little to disguise their boredom. A thing which looked like a cross between a jellyfish and a very odd-looking tennis racket floated beside Dinoses, and at the request of its teacher, asked her what advice, if any, she had for the spawnlings.
"Don't get old, kids", Dinoses said. "Don't ever get fucking old".
There were gibbers throughout the room as nurses and teachers alike stared in disgust at Dinoses, for daring to utter a swear word in the presence of mere million-year-olds. But she didn't care.
She looked at the activity schedule.
Bingo, bingo, Venusian prunes, bingo...
She bellowed out with laughter upon reaching the end of the schedule.
They were showing Jurassic Park next eon.
That would be nice.