[WP]You are a vampire. All the legends about vampire weaknesses apply to you, but are slightly wrong. You are allergic to cilantro, for example.

I'm quite late but here's my story. First ever post here, hope someone enjoys!


You’ve heard the stories of famous vampires such as Count Von Count, Dracula, or even the vampires from Twilight, right? Most vampires have the same story, they live forever, they burn up in the sun, and they’re allergic to garlic. But what about a vampire allergic to cilantro, and wood-fired pizza ovens? This is the story of Enrico, a vampire alive since the 16th century, after being granted life from the ashes of the biggest pizzeria in the bustling town of Venice, Italy.

The assumed-to-be supernatural restaurant that Enrico’s story started in was aptly named Vampiro Dilleto which translates to Vampire’s Delight in English. The pizzeria was of course decorated all-over with vampire paintings and other depictions of the mystical being. In the middle of the dining room was a life-size statue of a the delighted vampire himself, and behind him a huge wood-fired pizza oven, the biggest in the city, and in front an even bigger spice rack, which the vampire appeared to be guarding, almost entirely made up of cilantro, Enrico’s biggest fear.

Before the Vampiro Dilleto burned down the vampire statue was nothing special, simply a statue, but when the restaurant went up in flames, the energy from the pizza oven, combined with the all-natural cilantro must have provided the statue with the gift of life. Of course, Enrico’s unique chance at life came with a catch, he would never experience the joy of a cilantro varnish, or be able to feast on a perfectly cooked pizza from a wood-fired oven.

After the fire, and a few months of rebuilding, the Vampire Dilleto was back, this time under a new name: Lucario’s Pizza Dilleto. This time shying away from the original vampire theme since Lucario (the new owner of the pizzeria) did not like the old school vampire theme, so instead the eatery was rebuilt with a new modernized (for the time) theme, but the original statue was set up almost hidden in a corner of the building, as a way to remember the original restaurant. Little did most of the townsfolk know that the statue was a real vampire in hibernation just waiting for the right moment to strike. When the vampire sculpture survived the fire some superstitious residents of the town conspired that something supernatural was going on. However, the more reasonable members of the community reassured the skeptical that since the statue was made of stone it did not burn, and it was simply dumb luck that a piece of debris did not break it. The conservative minded were shocked to find that the conspirators were right, and the statue truly did end up being a real vampire.

Living as cilantro-allergic vampire through the centuries in the constantly growing town of Venice was not easy, especially since everywhere Enrico walked there was another pizza cooked in a wood-fired oven, or another spaghetti palace littered with cilantro varnish. Enrico was of course often offered pasta and pizza, which came with lots of “Momma Mia! Allergic to cilantro?!” Enrico did his best to keep a low profile during the day as to not get caught but when nighttime came, Enrico went out to hunt since of course he always had the underlying lust for blood.

After terrorizing the town for a while, up until about the 18th century, Enrico had to slow down on people hunting since he was drawing way too much attention. Instead Enrico mostly went after animals or beggars that no one would notice were gone and hoped that his existence would simply turn into an unsolved legend that would be forgotten within a few centuries. Over the years people read the story of Enrico and a few had taken up a deeper interest in him, knowing vampires live forever they knew he would still be alive, and went hunting with anti-vampire weapons such as silver knives or arrows from a crossbow. Enrico spent the next few centuries avoiding these hopeful hunters but many of them ended up losing their own life to Enrico instead of taking his.

As Enrico had hoped, in the modern day his story has been forgotten, but he still lives his live avoiding cilantro, and of course wood-fired ovens. When Enrico must go out to hunt, he makes his meals look like a simply another victim of this cruel, harsh world. Since technology has significantly improved since the time when Enrico was born, there are a lot more people becoming skeptical of the amount of murders victims appearing around with city with no blood left in their veins, and what appears to be two bite marks on their necks. With all the skepticism, only time will tell what will become of Enrico the Italian Vampire.

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