Part 1 [Wasn't able to finish this in one post, will try to finish tomorrow. First post, not really a writer, but I'm bored and need an outlet]:
"You're kidding me, right?" I said, staring up over my still steaming coffee cup at the man sitting across the table.
He was well dressed, I couldn't tell you designed his suit, but I could tell you that I know enough to know that it was an expensive getup, and it fit well - almost perfect. His almost white-blonde wavy hair framed his angular face well, and his pale blue eyes stayed fixated on me.
It was making me uncomfortable.
A smirk started at the corner of his mouth. "No, not kidding. I know more about you than you'd be comfortable with me sharing here. Trust me, you want this, you NEED this right now."
"What's your name again?" I said leaning forward, "Do I know you?"
A small laugh, "No, no. I'm just a person interested in just what you can do when given....certain opportunities."
"Ok," I said sitting back straight in my chair with a big grin, "prove it. Show me that you can give me what you're offering."
The man snapped two perfectly manicured fingers and...
Well, nothing. Nothing happened. I looked around the coffee shop, everything seemed to be the same. I smiled triumphantly - "Am I on a show or something, what was supposed to happen?"
The man smirked again, "What happened was exactly what I said would happen. This particular decision was what you decided to wear this morning." He nodded down with his forehead, "Take a look."
I looked down to see the purple shirt I had switched for another shirt just before leaving the house that morning. "What....the...fu...."
"You see Mr. Smith, I'm not wasting your time, this isn't a joke, I just want to see what you can do with this gift. And I know you have plenty of opportunities to use it." His smile broadened and I could see almost every one of his perfectly aligned teeth, almost seeming too big for his mouth. It was unnerving. "I just need you to say the word and the gift is yours."
I thought about me, about all the decisions I wish I had made differently, about the struggle with anxiety and depression, and how every day I wished I could have done something differently. I thought about my marriage, and my friendships, and how I wasn't happy with any of it, how I just wanted to be ok. I looked up into the strangers eyes and said, "Alright."
The days rolled by and from the outside I seemed to be having a rock star week. I made lots of seemingly really risky decisions, and they ALL paid off. Most of this was done at work, some at home, but everything seemed to be perfect. Inside, things were going ok - there was a bit of a strain to doing things twice, but the result seemed worth the cost, and I was building up trust in this ability to really make the biggest change of all.
The really important decisions were being held back for now, building for a marathon session of "Getting my shit together." I have been seeing therapists, meditating, reading, trying to sort my shit out for years, and now the solution is right in front of me, in my grasp. He had been agonizing about his marriage, his job, his friends, none of it felt right to him, he was restless - but even worse he didn't want to be alone. Now he could KNOW.
It took a couple more weeks for me to build up the familiarity with the gift, knowing exactly how to slip from universe to universe to "flip" the result. I started one day with a couple of friends that I just couldn't stand anymore, they were so needy - sure they were devoted, and nice, and caring. But I was just tired of dealing with their neediness and he needed them out of my life.
I looked them in the eyes and said what I had wanted to say for months now, "Guys, I don't think we can hang out anymore, I'm just not into this - it's not working for me." I could feel the anxiety setting in, my chest tightened.
Allen, the voice of the pair looked hurt, but when he spoke up it was more understanding and respect that I heard rather than the expected anger. "Hey, thanks for being honest, as your friends we definitely don't want to be a burden on you if you don't feel like this is an equal friendship."
I was shocked, that went so much better than I anticipated. I didn't need to flip, this was exactly the right decision. That started it, I should keep going, I couldn't wait. I went straight home and immediately confronted my wife.
"I'm not happy, I haven't been for a while, I need space - lots of it." I blurted out at her.
This was tough, I've been agonizing about this for a while. I couldn't tell whether I didn't love my wife or if I just needed change elsewhere. We had talked, been to couples counseling, really tried to work this through, but now I had a chance to KNOW!
"What? What do you mean? What are you talking about?" she stared blankly over the kitchen bar, mid-stir of dinner on the stove...
[End of Part 1: I can't get this all done tonight, this was just one long blurted writing session, I haven't really proofed it, I corrected a couple things where I shifted from first person to third, its probable that I missed more than I caught. I'll try to finish tomorrow if it seems like there's any interest. Even if there isn't I'll try and wrap it up I guess. Thanks for reading]