Wally Bain used to have hopes and dreams. He tried to remind himself of that as he walked across the lobby of Google's pristine YouTube Center. Dozens of giant banners hung from the tall glass ceiling, they sported oversized head shots of Youtube stars, past and present. Wally felt them all staring at him, a cascade of minor celebrities judging all of his failures. He resented their fame, that they could make untold sums of money by simply talking into a camera while he had to float from temp job to temp job just to keep a roof over his head.
"I used to be talented..." Grumbled Wally as he approached the information desk, shaped like an enormous youtube 'play' icon.
"Pardon?" The lone secretary inquired.
"Sorry, it was nothing. My name is Wallace Bain, I'm with Contractual Janitorial Services. I'm supposed to be assisting the cleaning staff of sub-floor C for this week."
"Excellent, I'll just need to scan your ID and issue you a temporary security card. The card will give you direct access to the sub-floor via any of the elevators labeled staff. Avoid using the large red elevators with 'Tube' on the doors, they're reserved for executives and visiting dignitaries."
"Uh, sure thing." Said Wally as he handed the secretary his ID. "Is there anyone I should report to down there?"
The secretary quickly consulted her computer. "No, it appears you will be all by yourself today Mr. Bain." As she handed Wally his ID and badge she quipped, "I trust you are well versed in the janitorial arts?"
Wally stared down at his navy blue janitorial jump suit before responding. "Yes, unfortunately."
The inside of the staff elevator was much less luxurious than the lobby. A buttonless panel to the left, a small flatscreen to the right, coffee stained carpet on the floor. Wally slid his access card into the panel and the elevator descended with a lurch. A youtube promotional video played on the flatscreen, it featured cameos by the Fine Brothers, Jenna Marbles, Tyler Oakley, PewDiePie, and slew of other people that Wally didn't recognize. The elevator seemed to be traveling at rapid pace, yet the video looped three times before it came to a grinding halt. Wally was unsure just how far underground he was. The doors creaked open, a sulfurous sent spewed into the elevator. Wally peered beyond the doors, he saw pure blackness but the space sounded vast and cavernous. With some trepidation, he fished his iPhone out of his front pocket and turned on the flash light. As soon as Wally took a step out of the elevator, the doors began to close. His light cast a few feet of visibility, he could see foot prints in soil that covered the ground. They made all went in one direction, straight ahead.
Wally followed the sketcher and nike logos that had been worn into the dirt for what seemed to be a half mile. As he considered heading back to the elevator, the prints all made sharp right turn toward a single metal door that protruded out of the inky blackness. Wally stopped and wiped a think sheet of dust off door, revealing the old YouTube logo. Broadcast yourself.
As he opened the door, florescent light poured out into the cavern. The door lead to a seemingly unending , mundane, office hallway. It was lined with hundreds of doors, all sporting black vinyl lettering. Wally meandered down the hallway in a daze. He would read the names on the doors, occasionally one would sound vaguely familiar. He would hear voices behind some, muffled overacting and silly voices. Wally's trance was finally broken when he recognized one voice. It came from behind the door labeled Tay Zonday. As Wally opened the door, he was greeted with the familiar sound of Chocolate Rain.
A young bespectacled man stood alone in the corner of what appeared to be a budget apartment, incongruous to the office hallway that lead to it. Zonday quickly brought his song to a halt as Wally entered the room.
"I'm sorry," Said Zonday. "I know I'm not supposed to sing that one. Only the new pieces...I just feel compelled to play it occasionally. I fear it may be a flaw in circuitry. Decommission me if you deem it necessary."
Wally searches for words, "I'm...the temp...the janitor."
"I'm the Tay....the Zonday."
"Who...what is this place?"
"This is the first generation. The foundation upon which YouTube was built."
"Are you...not real? Are all of you not real."
"I am a YouTuber. An artificially engineered pop entertainment delivery system. I was built in the year 2007, featuring 'one-hit wonder' system architecture. My content is created by adsense speculation to garner maximum viral potential."
"Do you ever...leave this room?"
"Tay Zonday is available for: Talk Show appearances, motivational speeches, product endorsements, variety show appearances, commercial acting, and public performances. Would you like to book Tay Zonday?"
"No...I'm just the janitor.
"I'm just Tay Zonda."
The elevator ride back to the lobby seemed much faster, Wally choose to take the 'Tube'-tube back up to the surface. He no longer cared if it was just for executive and dignitaries. The same promotional video played in on a large flatscreen. Wally watched intently, seeing the cold expressionless eyes of every YouTuber. Sitting in their fake locations, with their fake faces, spewing out spread sheet powered content. In the final seconds of the ad, he caught a brief shot of Tay singing. It was heartbreaking. The elevator doors opened, and Wally stepped out into the lobby. Once again greeted by the monolithic banners.
Wally no longer felt judged.