3. [WP] You die and enter the realm between heaven and hell. You come to learn that...

[WP] You die and enter the realm between heaven and hell. You come to learn that this space is 'owned' by your own inner monologue, a separate entity from yourself. You begin trying to convince the sentient apparition, who sounds and thinks like you, to let you enter heaven.

I barely knew what hit me. One second, I was walking, then I was floating. There was darkness all around me, and a brilliant white light shone above. But floating between me and the light was a voice, and I knew I would have to get past it to get out of here.

I knew who it was because I had been listening to that voice since I could think. Only in my later years did it become this bitter.

"You deserve this."

"How?"

"You should have looked where you were going. Stupid piece of shit."

"I had the right of way! And besides, does thinking about something else while walking across an intersection really deserve death? I mean, Jesus, I'm never going to see my family again! Oh god! What will this do to my mom? She doesn't deserve this. I'm really never going to see her again. Oh my Go-"

"Good."

"GOOD?! HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING!"

"You didn't deserve her. All you did was take take take. She gave you everything and what have you given her?"

"That's not how it works, she loves me. I make her smile and-

"Shut the fuck up. You were always just a leech. Sitting in the basement playing Xbox while she cooked. Never helping around the house enough. Putting her sixty grand in debt so you could fail out of an engineering degree. You never did anything to warrant her liking you. She only liked you because you were hers."

"That's not true! Fuck, it's not fair. I only hit a rough patch. It was gonna get better. I had so much more ahead of me."

"Bullshit, you can't lie to me, I am you. Name one thing you are good at. ONE. You can't. You pissed away all of your time on YouTube and now you are out of time."

"Stop it. You're wrong. People liked me! I had friends! I was funny!"

"Being funny and likable are two different things shithead. You could make a good crude joke but that is all you had. If you had friends why did no one ever call you on a Friday night? If you were so likable how come you made it to twenty one without a girlfriend? Not one. sure,you managed to trick a couple of girls into dates, God knows how. But once they saw through the mask and got a good look at the real you, they were repulsed. Because that is what you are. Repulsive."

"Stop."

"Dumb."

"Stop."

"Weak."

"Please."

"You deserved this one hundred percent because your end summed up your life perfectly. Off in lala land while a bus is hurtling toward you. On YouTube while you should have been studying. Eating chocolate while you should have been in the gym. Playing Halo while you should have been taking care of your appearance. You died how you lived, squandering your life. That bus did you a favor. You didn't have the balls and you certainly didn't have the self respect to do what you should have done a long time ago, and put a bullet between your teeth."

"Why are you so awful? I didn't ask for you, you lived in my head. You were there telling me my friends all secretly hated me while we were all having fun. Telling me I deserve it every time I fail, because I am weak. Screaming at me every time I look in the mirror or wonder why things are bad. Telling me I should keep dicking around because if I try I will fail anyway because that is what I am, a failure. FUCK YOU! YOU ARE THE REASON FOR MY FAILURE AND MY PUNISHMENT FOR IT. I HATE YOU!!"

The light enveloped me abruptly. And then I woke up. I had tubes in my nose, and bandages on my head. It was dark in the room with the first few rays of morning light coming through the window. My mom was asleep in the guest chair next to my lime green hospital bed. And I realized that Hell isn't a place where you go after you die.

Hell is a part of you that you carry around while you live.

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