[WP]Due to a mutation, your penis shoots a permanent laser beam. You are forced to wear special penis sunglasses and your nickname becomes 'Cyclops'.

2.5 Years (Epilogue)

Megan was kind enough to help me pack up my apartment as I had helped her pack up hers. Boxes and boxes of stuff, I'd never realized just how much junk I had piled up in my crummy little home.

"Your old Nerf guns, are those a 'keep' thing, or a 'throw' thing?"

"Keep! My god, keeeep! It's Nerf or nothing Meg!" She rolled her eyes at me. Sure I hadn't used those toys in years, and honestly I wasn't likely to use them again for some time further, but I loved them all the same.

"You do realize we're in a written form narrative in the comments of a shitpost, right? We don't need product placement like that." She had caught on to the unreality of our reality sometime after my dick laser had obliterated my car.

"Damn," I joked, "how the hell are we gonna pay for the house then?" We chuckled to ourselves as we kept packing the boxes. Funny how a menial chore can become such a warm experience when you're with the right person.

"Hey," she called from the other room, "Hey look at this, Kev!" She emerged with a box in her hand. "Jenga!"

"Now who's doing product placement?"

"Shut up," she poured the pieces out on the floor, picking one up, she read "If you could live anywhere in the world, where?"

"Well we've got that sorted, haven't we?"

"Right, because Missouri is every girl's dream."

"It's my dream, if you're there."

"Gross," she picked up another block, "I woulda said Norway."

"Norway's nice."

"What's your favourite colour? Seriously?"

"There were a lot of blocks okay? They couldn't all be winners." She tossed it and pulled another.

"Why are you really called Cyclops?" She smirked, "oh, oh my god. Like the guy."

"The leader of the X-men, yeah."

"I thought the knife guy was the leader."

"That's Wolverine."

"Bet you wish your dick had his powers instead."

"What?"

"Like... Y'know... Shkkkt!" She repeatedly gestured as if she had an invisible and retractable penis at her waist. "Shkt shkt sshhkt shhhhhhhhkt!"

"You're kinda weird, y'know."

"Oh I'm weird? Your dick shoots lasers."

....

"Touché."

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