"Okay kids, this is the story of how I became who I am today. Crowd around and get ready for a wild one. Yall are now old enough to hear this"
I was all business when I walked into that gas station. There would be no bullshit. It was going to be an in and out operation. Once I left I would have the money that I always deserved but was denied. All my life I had been denied opportunities. Following my first stint in prison I was told, "work hard, earn your way through life". Pfff, those motherf*****s had no clue what I had been through. They can't possibly judge me, I deserve a break! Now I was about to get it.
When I entered the station I looked all around it. Besides the cashier and I there were 4 other patrons in the store. There was an old lady, a biker in a leather jacket, and a girl who looked like she was in college. I got into line behind the girl; once she left I would pull my pistol and empty the register. The old lady bought some cigarettes and cough drops (how ironic). After her, the biker bought himself some oil and a few tools to fix his bike. At this point I got tense, my time to strike was near. As soon as the girl walked out I would buy a soda, the register would pop and I would pistol whip the cashier, then get away with all the money in the store. As I rehearsed my plan to myself the girl went up and bought a teddy bear. She made small talk with the cashier. Then as soon as the register popped she pulled an MP5 out of her bag. "Any sorry-a** mother****** that even gets up is getting a cap in their skull"! I was scared once she had spoken, this girl was 18-something but she spoke with as much command as the biggest guys on the prison yard. Any b***h who could do that had to be completely loco. I complied with her demands, and I lay prone in the candy isle watching the scene unfold. She started to bag the money, and the poor cashier stood their with palpable fear on his face. He managed to swat the gun out of her hand. The girl started to dive for it. At this point i realized that if I did act that man would be dead. Something changed in me at this moment, if I did nothing there would be a death on my hands until I died. As she slid on the linoleum floor I ran up to her and tackled her to the ground. She could claw like I cat but i was 6'3 200 lbs of pure muscle. My ass held her there until the cops arrived. When they got there they put her in cuffs and dragged her to the car. Officer Hector Jimenez was one of the cops. He looked at me and said
"Carlito you are such an upstanding fellow, I remember all the trouble you got in as a teen. So glad to see you as a good citizen brother".
A moment ago I had been preparing to rob a store. Now I was being praised by a police officer. If that crazy woman had not been in front of me that day kids, you would never have met me.
My nephew Ignacio spoke up at this point, "uncle Carlito, you are full of shit but tell a damn good story"!