3. [WP] Every object in your house is a cursed artifact, from the magic sword over ...

[WP] Every object in your house is a cursed artifact, from the magic sword over your fireplace to the toothbrush by the sink.

Y'know, life is quite normal for me at this point. While my house is filled with ancient curses and hexes manifesting into houshold objects, they're quite useful. You'd never think items from Naavlan The Hexer (shouldn't say that name, but whatever) would help out my daily life.

I walk over to my sink, a shaving razor gently resting on the edge. You see this? It's a razor. What is shaved with this razor may never grow back. I pick it up and gently slice a few hairs on my legs, then place it back near the Sink of Sinking. The name says it all.

I look at my (hexed) watch, which shows me the time zone of a random country every time I lay my gaze upon it. Luckily, I memorized every time zone. 9:00 AM. Eh, I got another hour.

I sluggishly walk past my Talisman of Sloth to get to the Coffee Pot of Not Coffee. This coffee pot has a 1 in 500 chance of making coffee, and a 499 in 500 chance of making Necco Wafer Glue. You can guess what I got.

To finish off my daily routine, I grab my magical umbrella sword. It can become a sword and an umbrella, and it has the magical power of filling something with liquid gold. I stab my coffee mug, turning the Necco Glue into gold.

Ah, how nice it is to live without a job and a bunch o' curses.

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