[WP] Every Spring, Men and Women enter a kind of "Mating Season" in which sexual activity skyrockets while inhibitions and moral restraints plummet. You are one out of few who are not affected at this time of year. Describe an an average Spring day. (NSFW)

I. Absolutely. Fucking. Hate. Spring.

You may wonder, how can a beautiful girl such as me hate spring? Well, let me tell you again.


Every single fucking day I get the dark looks of men. I get invitations, flowers... god dammit, my desk looks like Pasadena on New Year's morning.

Every one of them wants to fuck with me. EVERY ONE!

Why did I have to be born with Libido Deficit Disorder? Why, god, why??? I'm the only fucking woman in this god damn office who doesn't want to have sex in Spring. Worst of all, I get cramps. I get god damn cramps. Yes, I know actual sex alleviates my symptoms, but I'M NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD!!!

Yesterday was the worst. Fucking God. I had to take these new items into the Information Technology Offices. Safe choice, huh? Bunch of nerds with tennis elbow syndrome out of jerking off so much in spring... sure, they probably had gotten tired after all day of playing with themselves. Fine, huh?

Well it turns out there was a network problem and they were overstressed trying to fix the damn network. No sex in all day.

When I got to them they were furious and tired - just like me. It was a hectic day. Yeah remember that network problem I told you about? I had to visit all the offices and start delivering messages for them, transfer files here and there...

And obviously, in times of stress, and especially in spring, people vent out in the restrooms. But then they saw me and they kept inviting me to fuck over and over and over. NO, I'M NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD!!!

God dammit.

So here I was, delivering some stuff that I couldn't deliver to them because the network was down... well, guess what. That stuff was exactly what they needed to fix the fucking network. WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY FUCKING TELL ME!?!?!? Oh, right, the network was down. Fuck me, right?

So, I wait for them to finish things off, and then tell them, hey, Matt's having an orgy in his apartment right now, if you want to go. Obviously, they asked me to go. No, thanks, I'm not in the mood. Yeah, I brought it up again. Libido Defficit Syndrome. They told me they felt sorry for me. Obligatory thanks.

"Uh, anyway, if you want any of these days to you know, have, you know... just tell us, okay?"

Well, at least they were nice. I have to concede them that.

So we go up in the elevator, and it was a fucking oven. Turns out some guy had the BRILLIANT idea of suggesting to play the Elevator Fantasy today. It reeked of sex. And they didn't have the decency to turn on the goddamn fan.

I already heard them struggling not to pant. My god, they hadn't had sex all day and this elevator had so many hormones it could turn the most frigid woman into a sex slave. EXCEPT ME, BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING LIBIDO DEFICIT DISORDER!!!

Nope. I'm not risking a gangbang scenario in here. I better turn on that damn fan and let all the hormones flow away with the air.

I press the switch. And the fucking power goes down.

It's an oven in here. I take off my coat and throw it to the ground. Calm down, Tina, you can handle things rationally. Let's just call 911 and let them fix the elevator.

I grab my cellphone to realize I had forgotten to charge it, and I never noticed because I had been so busy the whole damn day.


... I shouldn't have said that.

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