"Invisibility," Ricardo announced, a grin begging to spread across his face. "With a little bit o' super strength"
"Wow," the class echoed in unison. Ricardo beamed as the claps began to drown his voice.
"So," he said softly, looking toward Don. "What's your superpower?"
Don felt a small bead of sweat beginning to slither down his forehead.
"I--uh..." Fuck! he thought to himself. Come on, Donny. You've got this.
Launching back his chair, Don stood up and stumbled toward the front of the classroom. He felt their eyes following him as he pushed past Captain Samson, Megadash and Queen ElastiVag. Adjusting his tie, he moved to speak.
"I...do not..." cough, "...have a superpower."
He saw their smiles beginning to fade.
"B-But! What I lack in super strength...I make up for in..." He glanced desperately around the room. A stapler. No. A stack of paper. No. An old whitted-basket? No! Fuck, what'll I--
And then Don's eyes landed on the "Politics & You" poster toward the back of the classroom. Yeah...That's it.
"I make up for in my knowledge of politics."
"Hah," Ricardo called from the back of the class. "Politics? More like- a polished dick!"
The class erupted in laughter.
"Shut up, bitch."
The laughter stopped. Ricardo looked toward Don, a twinkle of surprise in his eye.
"Alright," Don continued. "Now I've got your attention. See; politics is possibly the most important power in the western world, ya know? Great, you've got super strength, but what's that gonna do when China's messin' with your economy. Nothing. So instead of playin' dress-up with the rest of the goons, I'll be playin' a much more serious game."
Queen ElastiVag slowly raised her arm.
"W-What are you gonna do, Don?"
"I'm gonna make America great again."
Ricardo laughed. "More like make America gay again!"
No one joined in on Ricardo's laugh. Don smiled.
"Starting with you. Get him, boys!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"Hahahahah" Don laughed, tears rolling from his swollen eyes. "I can't be fuckin bothered finishing this piece a shit," he declared. "FUCK Reddit, it's full of autistic fuckheads who'll actually be voting for a walking tombstone come November"
the end
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