The assembled crowd fell silent as the man stepped gracefully up to the platform. As he took his place behind the podium, he shuffled a few cue cards, treating them as one would somebody else's porcelain. The man cleared his throat, the sound echoing across the space by virtue of the PA system. The last few eyes turned to him as he began his address. "Assembled lifeforms." He said. "As well as those watching at home. It is my distinct pleasure to have been chosen to be the first to venture forth into the unknown world of time travel. I know that many of us have dreamed all our lives of this day, and it is my honour to help bring that dream to fruition. Now, without further ado..." The man behind the podium gestured behind himself, and a glistening purple portal materialized out of the air, bright tendrils of blue lightning snaking their way from its centre to its edges. A thin green whorl traced its way through the sea of violet, lending the entire proceedings the appearance of a kindergartener's art show. Nevertheless, the portal was the culmination of decades of focused R&D by the brightest minds on earth. The man knew this, and felt the pressure of the whole world's expectations weighing on him. He turned around, both in order to face the portal and to hide his suddenly panic-stricken face. Someone, somewhere in the crowd began to chant. "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus." One by one, those gathered took up the cry. "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus." Ten thousand kilometres away, in a small apartment overlooking an inconsequential river, a balding, bespectacled physicist sat in anticipation, hardly daring to blink, as he watched the events unfold on his tiny television. "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus." He muttered. The crowd's chanting soon grew to a frenzy, such that it was impossible to hear anything over the cacophonous din. Jesus turned to the crowd and waved, smiled his best, most confident smile, and ducked through the portal. He had expected to spend a few seconds looking around, then duck back through, much to the delight of those watching. He hadn't expected the portal to snap shut once he was on the other side. Looks like it was going to be a long trip.