[WP] Immortality is a naturally occurring medical condition, affecting 1 out of 1 million births. You are the oldest immortal.

Dear Sir,

Welcome to the wonderful world of immortality! I appreciate that this is a confusing but, no doubt, amazing moment of your life and I hope that with my experience I may be able to offer some advice as to how to get the most from this gift.

Many Immortals will tell you that that their condition is a curse. That they get to keep their youth and health, while everything else around them is condemned to wither and decay, is considered existential torture. I respectfully disagree. It's fucking brilliant once you figure it out. It's the mortals who are the problem.

The first mistake any Immortal makes is the need to go and find other Immortals. Once they finish our painfully slow crawl through adolescence, pass through puberty, and realise they are different they are compelled to repeat this dumb pattern of meeting up. Well, that is how a lot of them end up entombed in concrete and dropped to the bottom of the sea. Mortals don't like to feel inferior, and a bunch of Immortals gathering together is rocket fuel for conspiracy theories. Before you know it the villagers will be out with pitchforks and burning torches. Stay clear.

So I keep out of the way, do my own thing. I move around quite a bit, make friends but not for too long. This makes sure few people know what I really am except the authorities, which is fair enough. There's nothing worse than a criminal Immortal, they are a bugger to catch and tricky to punish. Befriend the authorities and they won't fear you. Avoid scientists, they only care about using you.

The key to enjoying immortality is accepting that you are still just one person on Earth who needs to make the most of their time. Contrary to popular belief the fear of death isn't what grants the thrill of life. Immortality isn't inherited or evolved like our other instincts, it's just some random mutation, so we still get all the same instinctive thrills and impulses that any other person would. Do what you love. Devour all art, even that which you don't much like, because one day you may understand why others love it. Accumulate wealth, and use it to give opportunity to yourself and people who deserve it. Ride motorbikes. Have lots of sex, but I wouldn't recommend having children. Don't worry about changing your name at some point, whatever it is now will sound silly in a few hundred years (maybe the information age will slow trends like this, it will be interesting to see). Explore, go on journeys to anywhere that piques your curiousity. And never forget to value the serenity of doing nothing sometimes.

The downside is that you get to witness humanity's dumb mistakes repeat themselves time and time again. When I was younger I dedicated my life to spreading literacy. I thought that the more people wrote and read, the more they would understand the cyclical nature of wars and other tragedies. Yet even now, when the entirety of human knowledge is accessible by simply reaching in to your pocket, people as a whole do not understand this. Even fellow Immortals. I don't think the human brain is well suited to understanding these patterns on a grander scale. We only worry about what effects us now, and what solves that problem as soon as possible.

Don't fall in to this trap. But at the same time; don't waste your time trying to save others from it. Humans are just animals. And you can no more teach a man to avoid war than you can teach a dog to not lick its balls. You can't help everyone.

I hope this helps. Feel free to email me if you would like to talk. I have plenty of spare time.

Regards,

Ed

P.S. RIDE MOTORBIKES, I cannot emphasise this enough.

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