I yawned and sat up on the loveseat. "Hurry up, Amelia!" The itchy pajama pants rubbed against my legs, and I grimaced.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," my wife grumbled, walking into the living room from the kitchen. She held a steaming styrofoam cup of ramen in one hand and a fork in the other. "It's like you've never had a cold before," she said, handing me the fork. "Idiot."

"Don't be mean. Gimme my ramen."

Sitting beside me, Amelia exhaled loudly. "Uh, 'please?'"

"Please gimme my ramen." I gave her my best puppy-dog eyes, smiling, and she shook her head, giving me the cup.

"Why did you have to do it," she said, not even as a question. "Like, seriously. Was being human not enough for you or something?"

I stirred the ramen with the fork and blew on the hot noodles. "I'm still human."

"Well, I mean, technic— I mean... you... oh, just... just eat the ramen." Amelia put her head in her hands, long blond hair spilling over her shoulders.

I took a bite of the noodles and coughed.

"They're hot, stupid," Amelia said from beneath her hair tent.

"I know, I know." I blew on another forkful before putting the noodles in my mouth. "Chill, babe. I'm not going anywhere."

"Ugh, I know! Ok? I know! You had to drink that weird potion at the magic expo last week, and you haven't been able to shut up about being immortal." Amelia tossed her hair and made hand motions. "'Oh, look at me, I bought an immortality potion from a questionable vendor and didn't even read the ingredients on the back!'"

"There were no ingredients on the back," I reminded her.

"Exactly— there was no ingredient label!" She punctuated each word with a handclap. "Wasn't that suspicious?"

I swallowed another bite of ramen. "But you've gotta think, all the vendors are checked out beforehand, like they don't let random people off the street go in and sell stuff."