[WP]Make a line that would otherwise sound innocent sound terrifying.

 "BZIRRP, BZIRRP," Cara's phone shouted to the half dead body on the bed. She peeled the dried alcohol from her lips, and let out her morning gas without any regrets. After three sloppy attempts to type her password she was finally in.

BOBBY JONES: WAKE UP YOU CUM GUZZLING SLUT

With a small giggle she replied

ME: YOU'RE THE ASSHAT WHO GOT ME WHITE GIRL WASTED LAST NIGHT. DID YOU HAVE FUN WITH THAT CONSTRUCTION WORKER? DID HE JACKHAMMER YOUR CONCRETE?

BOBBY JONES: HAVE YOU EVER HAD ANYONE USE A WRECKING BALL ON YOUR VAGINA? LUNCH?

ME: NOW PLEASE.

"Ugh I have a meeting today," Cara wept as she strained to open the door to Cosmo's Pizza. 
 "Oh is my alter ego going to rip you a new one?," Bobby sassed to the incredibly thirsty, ridiculously hungry Cara.
 "Just because you share a name with the guy does not make him your alter ego. If anything you're kind of alike in the sense that you both see me every day, you both make me do things I dont want to, and you're both insanely narcissistic. Only he's my boss and your my g.b.f.," she explained. 
 Cara and Bobby found a quiet table free of screaming children, oblivious parents, and over zealous waitresses. The meal was silent as both of them scrolled through picture after picture reminiscing of their Saturday night out. They only both put their phones down for a four minute span, and that was to inhale the spinach and mushroom pie that hovered over their plates.

"Oh, no! I am so sorry sir! Please forgive me!," the apologetic waitress yelped. It was at that same time Bobby felt the cold drip of ice water running down his pant leg. He picked up his water soaked phone, tapped the screen. No light. He took out the battery and put it back in. No light. He held it in his hands bent over on one knee, and prayed to sweet Steve Jobs in heaven. Still no light. In the four minutes he was not holding his phone, the universe had decided to ruin the one way he had to communicate with society. "Well I guess that's that," he said. "Dont worry, we will find you a new one for cheap," Cara comforted him as they angrily paid and walked out the door. They walked across the street, and on to the parking garage. Still feeling miserable Cara stated her goodbye. "I have to go sweetie, Mr. Jones is gonna be pissed that I dont have those reports submitted yet!" She drove past

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