'Doctor, I'd like you to meet my children. This is Ron, that's David, and over there is Ellie', you say proudly, gesturing to your three offspring clustered around you. Ron and Ellie look curiously at the strange man standing at the foot of your bed in his velvet jacket and bizarrely baggy trousers. David pretends not to have heard.
'Michael, something's wrong here,' the Doctor says. His brow is furrowed ominously and his eyes are flicking back and forth between the three children, taking in their dark hair and how closely they resemble you. 'Yes,' he mutters to himself. 'They certainly look the part....'
He bounces across to Ellie and, whipping out his sonic screwdriver, lifts her fringe.
'Er, Dad, who is this?' she asks, staring back at the Doctor as he peers intently at her forehead.
'Doctor, stop playing around!' you say jovially. 'I'm on the mend, it was pretty serious but...'
'Not you, not you,' the Doctor says, now leaping across the room to David and trying to scan his arm. David pushes his chair as far back against the wall as it will go. 'It's these.... things! Don't worry, I expect your memory has been modified but-'
'Doctor, what are you talking about?' you ask. He stops, swivels on the spot and runs to your bedside where he clutches the sheets dramatically.
'I'm sorry Michael, I'm so sorry but... it's impossible for you to bear young. These can't be your children. They must be some form of parasitic invasion, feeding off your parental yearning and-'
'Doctor, stop!' you cry. 'This is ridiculous!'
'I know it must seem that way!' the Doctor moans, pulling at his hair and knocking his own glasses askew. 'But it's just not-'
'But I didn't bear these children!' you shout.
'What did you say?' the Doctor pauses in tearing his jacket off.
'Male humans don't 'bear' children,' you say patiently. 'Only the women do. My wife Maria 'bore' these three. I just helped create them.'
'Oh. I see.' The Doctor slumps into a chair, on top of David, who squawks and shoves him off. He bounces up again immediately. 'Well in that case old chap, I'll see you once that wounds healed! Third moon of Jupiter sound good?'