3. [WP] It's New Years Eve. Your best friend died in September, you've been robbed ...

[WP] It's New Years Eve. Your best friend died in September, you've been robbed twice, your girl friend is leaving you, you've just lost your job and the only one left to talk to is a gay burglar you've got tied up in the kitchen. P.S. Your cat is dead.

"Hey buddy. Glad you showed up. No, stop... Dumbass. Struggling won't help. The ropes aren't that tight... Ugh, you're really only making this more difficult, and I haven't done anything other than choke you out and tie you up, so would you please calm down?

"Thank you. Let me fill you in on what's going on here. First, though, I have to ask: are you gay? I thought so - the pink socks were a dead giveaway. Oh, please, I'm not a homophobe... why 'homophobe', though? I mean, who would be afraid of a gay person? I'm certainly not afraid of you! Hahahahaha...

"Heh, sorry. It's no big deal, honestly. But I would like to tell you about what's going on in my life before we go further. See, I imagine that, as a gay man, you've faced quite a bit of adversity in your life. Is that true? Yeah?

"Have you ever had all that adversity hit you at once?

"'Cause that's what's happening here. See, everything fell apart when Steve died. Best friend. Suicide. Apparently he was in love with me, and because I was well on my way to marrying a woman, well, haha, let's just say he didn't like that too much. According to the note, he 'couldn't stand' me for 'not accepting him as he was'. Killed himself three months ago.

"Since then? Well, when your girlfriend thinks you've had an affair with Steve, your gay best friend, that relationship isn't going to last particularly long, is it? Hahahaha! I mean, why, right? No, no, I don't blame you. Why would I blame you? That's silly. I mean, it's her choice! That's like me blaming you for getting me fired a week ago. You had nothing to do with that! Granted, someone rigged my computer to blare gay porn during a client's presentation, but that wasn't you! No, no...

"I'm going to blame you for the robberies, though.

"See, the first time, you managed to get the good stuff. I didn't bother replacing it because I figured I could start fresh. Steve was dead, Jen was gone - a few material possessions aren't anything in the long run, right?

"But then you went too far with the second time.

"I don't want to know why you came back a third time, Steve, and I don't want to know what's going on in that fucked-up head of yours.

"But I do want to know why you killed Mr. Snuffles. He was fabulous."

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