"Our computers gathered some data that may be of some interest to you, Commander." My second in command, a short green creature 2 feet tall that I could crush in the palm of my hand, shifted nervously on his feet.

"It'd better be good news, Raxon," I thundered. "Our invasion is about to commence." My fleet had already slipped into Earth's orbit. The laser cannons were at the ready, aimed and locked at every major city.

"I- it's uhh. It's very bad news sir," Raxon stammered.

I narrowed my eyes. My fingers tapped casually on the blaster at my belt. Raxon positively jumped out of his skin with fright.

"Start talking, worm," I hissed.

"It's called nosleep," he said, gulping. "A bunch of stories about... The most horrible things." He shuddered and pulled what was called an"iPad" from his pocket, taken from some poor shmuck we'd abducted the other day.

"Let me see that," I growled, tearing the device from his hands. I scrolled through the threads.

"Nosleep!" Raxon repeated with a shudder. "The poor Earthlings are so frightened they cannot even perform a basic body function!"

"Is this data true?" I whispered. I could feel myself turning pale.

Raxon nodded frantically.

"Great Jupiter!" I said. My heart sank as I scrolled through thread after thread. "The spirits of their dead walk among them. Beautiful creatures draw innocent humans in with their charm only to suck the blood from their bodies."

"Did you read of the virus running rampant on Earth?" Raxon asked anxiously. "The one that infects their brains and brings the dead to life?"

A shiver ran down my spine. "They call it the 'zombie flu," I muttered. "Do you think it would affect our troops?"

"I don't know my lord. But I don't want to stick around to find out."

"Me neither," I agreed. "Tell the captains I command them to withdraw at once. Earth clearly isn't worth the trouble."