"Ayyee Baybee! D'you know who you got there? That's Mr Almost. That should tell you something about going home with him tonight. haw haw haw." the drunken man slopped beer on his shirt as he took another large gulp.

The woman looked offended. "If you weren't so drunk I'd say you should be careful about who you taunt. Honey," she said, turning to the man holding her arm, "don't pay them any attention, ok? Do it for me?" the corner of her eyes scrunched in conscernation, as if expecting any other answer.

But the man, Mr Almost, just patted her hand on his arm. "Don't worry Love, this ain't no thing."

He chuckled deeply. This was saying something for such a thin tall man. He was almost, but just more than, the maximum average height. He was also almost, but not quite the below the lower average weight for his height. He was also almost famous, almost infamous at how he'd mastered his unfortunate power. She was definitely absolutely completely satisified with him, that was for sure. Almost.

"Hon, lets just go. He might be too stupid, he's had a lot to drink."

Mr Almost, Jake to his friends, nodded sagely. Then loudly said "He seems like he might almost have the brawn to match his brains."

The tiny claustrophobic closet of a bar went silent. The place was packed to sardine potency and fragrance.

All eyes turned to Mr Almost. Then almost as one, turned to the man, the loudmouth who just couldn't hold it in.

The loudmouth who, in his stupor, seemed to suddenly become aware of the situation.

He hiccuped.

In the silence this carried all the way outside, to the bouncer who had poked his head in at the change of pace.

"Nnnow Mr Almost, I i I didnt mean it like that. I was, wus talkin t'mah friend here" he turned to the empty stool next to him. "we'd seen one too many of them crude comedy shows. hic y'know? I didn't mean anythin by it. I apppologize ma'am." He sketched a solemn bow to the girl.

Mr Almost looked at the man once, for one very, very long moment. Everyone jumped when he clapped his hands.

"Well I don't see why we need to make a mess in here. Love, do you accept his apology?" she hastily nodded. "Then I don't see why we can't all get along."

"After you leave." the last words were almost too quiet to hear, but everyone heard. He let out a sob.

"please..." but Mr Almost just stared at him, seeming to tower higher and higher over him.

The man left.

"Now then! Please, everyone. As you were, nothing to see here." the murmer of voices resumed, quickly jumping to its normal earsplitting volume to match the restarted music.

Almost nobody heard the car crash outside, or the ambulance, leaving with siren off.

Almost everyone had been safe.

btw, I wrote this having only read the title.