[WP] You, a princess locked in a tower. Him, an enamored Prince Charming. The issue: you don't want to be rescued.

"Go away!" The voice came down from the highest window. "I don't know you. I don't want to know you. And I am definitely not coming down."

"But, but, but. M'lady, thou must come down at once. I am your knight and am here to take my place by your side."

The full moon showed a figure on one knee, arms outstretched in a pose of perfect romanticism. His sword dangles awkwardly against his meaty legs and dug into the dew-ridden grass at odd angle.

"I am not going to say it again." The voice said from the window. "Go away!"

"M'lady. The full moonlight has emboldened me and my heart beats with oriental speed! You must come forth and join me in the quest that is life."

Lightning reflected in the low clouds. His breath showed in puffs as he labored to breath through nerves and frustration and mild obesity. The night was not going the way of this knight.

The voice of his love called down once more.

"Listen up, you fucking weirdo. I called the cops and told them some creep is in my yard with a sword."

Armor clanked as the knight fled into the darkness.

He was later caught on N. Fillmore and 1st, a distance of nearly 200 feet from his beloved (a local GameStop employee who had smiled at him...once). He was charged with resisting arrest, as well as assault on a police officer when he attempted a swirling slash attack with his broadsword. His spell of deflection failed against the taser barbs, and he was quickly subdued. A restraining order is pending.

/r/WritingPrompts Thread