[WP] Prisoners can ask for anything for their last meal. The catch is, if it can't be provided to them, they get set free. They've asked for many things : alien egg omelette, dragon steak, the flesh of Jesus Christ, etc. The execution streak remained unbroken for decades, until today.

‘Listen son, do you really think I’m going to become the first governor, after thirty years of justice, to allow some filthy little mass-murderer to escape old-sparky?’

I hesitated before responding. Mr Schulberg’s eyes had never looked so demonic. Combined with his high-blood pressure fuelled, Lobster red complexion, I knew I would have to tread carefully.

‘I’ll deal with it sir, you have my word.’

‘Good boy. Close the door on your way out’

Good ‘boy’? Cheeky bastard, sitting on his chair looking like a cross between Mr Burns and a Haemorrhoid. But still, ‘I’ll deal with it?’ What was I thinking?

Me and the team had spent the last week struggling to find a way to solve the problem of the ‘beast’ and his surefire request. Nothing. Not even Smithy, straight off the Harvard production line, could figure it out. He was only with us as part of a placement programme; the prison and its monsters mere Guinea pigs for his precious research.

The ‘beast’s’ real name was Ron Saint; his claim to fame was the murder of seven nuns, committed over the course of ten years and six different states. He still likes to sing ‘Ave Maria’ most nights, or even ‘Kumbaya’ when the mood takes him. It drives the new guys nuts, but I’m deaf to it now.

Jenkins was the first to read his request, the look of anger and disgust on his face, only matched by equivalent frustration. ‘Look what the fucker has asked for, look!’ he spewed, a saliva projectile travelling slightly to far in my direction for comfort. He waved the sheet of paper in our faces like an angry teacher admonishing a student for a d level essay. ‘He’s done us, the evil, clever bastard has done us!’

I snatched it from his hand and read. In oddly disjointed, misshapen writing that David Berkowitz would probably be proud of, the beast had stooped to depths previously unimagined.

‘Hey boys, for starter, I’d like the left ear of sister Mary Cadwell’, his seventh victim and the location of who’s body he had refused to reveal.

‘For main her right thigh and for desert… hmmm… maybe one of them lovely eye balls? I’m not greedy you know hehehe. Hope it won’t be too much trouble, I wouldn’t want to leave your lovely abode, after all.’

‘Yours truly and forever (?),

The saint’

Then the real kicker.

‘PS section 36, B1 of the prison handbook states that ‘’the prisoner does not have to assist in anyway with the sourcing of his final meal, for which the sole responsibility lies with the prison and its officials.’’ Hope this helps!

/r/WritingPrompts Thread