[WP] /r/RBI (Reddit Bureau of Investigation) , under the Department of Justice, has become an actual thing. One night RBI agents busted into your house with guns drawn. Describe your crime, apprehension, and questioning.

"RBI Agents! Let me see your hands!"

I could hardly hear the words, as the door was breached with explosives and a flash bang was tossed into the room adjacent to me. They immediately detained me and searched the entire house, completely ransacking my belongings. The first thing they seized was my cellphone and my desktop computer. I was confused and irritated, I told them that I had done nothing and that they were making a mistake. The man, who I'm assuming was in charge, began to promptly question me. He pulled out a warrant, and a log of what appeared to be my "hidden" posts that I've had throughout the months on my Reddit account. He explained that they were holding me under a class B felony. I then realized what I might have done.

After being loaded into a van they drove me to their holding cells. I was given water and cereal (hah, "lucky charms"), and then taken to an interrogation room. They told me that I won't have an attorney just yet for the initial questioning. I disagreed and told them that it was my constitutional right, and they argued that I lost that right after what I've done with my Reddit account. I was stumped, and they explained to me that I've been highly involved in the Subreddit /r/The_Donald during its peak of triumph. I was even offered a position as moderator. Turns out, after Hillary Clinton was elected, she wanted to silence the rational right and the anti-establishment. She funded the RBI and had them put away "potential disrupters", even after the fact that she had won the election. She didn't like that we freely spoke our opinions and beliefs, and she did what she did best: operate in a pool of corruption by taking advantage of her assets. I argued with them and demanded an attorney, and one of the men struck me with his backhand. He told me to shut up, that I am worthless, and that I won't be seeing light for a long time.

/r/WritingPrompts Thread