[WP] Satan pulls a God and impregnates a virgin. Describe the life of anti-Jesus.

“Yeah, no interest, sorry,” I said, watching as Carol’s face dropped.

I had been friends with Carol for six years. Now, right as she was about to marry the love of her life, I had turned down being her Maid-of-Honor. She was crushed. I could see it in the way her aura flapped around like a broken-winged-meal.

“You know how I am about churches,” I said. “But this is for me! I thought you would give a shit,” Carol said this without even flinching.

“I give a lot of shits, but I refuse to step into a church.” I gathered up my things and put them meticulously back into my purse. “You have to understand, this is what I have always said and I don’t back down from it. Plus, why would you want me there anyways.”

“Because you are my best friend,” Carol said. She was near tears. “You saved my life.”

“And I will continue saving it by not going into a church,” I said. Carol sighed. “I just want you there.”

“Then have it somewhere else. That is not sacred ground,” I said. “Because I don’t want to deal with religion at all. Plus, it’s so useless. You have it all wrong.”

“Yes, yes, I know. you are the ever-loving prophet sent to enlighten us,” Carol said. She looked around at the room. “What happened in a church that you won’t go in there?”

“What if I said I was raped by a pastor?” I asked.

Carol paused for a moment. “No, you’re lying.”

“I know. But what if I had been? You would have felt terrible.”

“Fuck this,” Carol said. “Where can you go?”

“Like a park or a Chick-fal-a.”

“Yeah, not happening.”

“Somewhere not holy,” I said. “Churches are out. And so are cemeteries. Though I can do a park, in reality. Or Japan. I can go there.”

“Like I can afford to go to Japan for my wedding,” Carol said softly. She looked pensive. “I can’t afford anything fancy.”

“How much does a wedding in Japan cost?” I asked, pulling out my phone. I looked on Google, trying to get a rough estimate. I pulled out a notebook and a pen, writing down numbers as I flashed through various websites.

Carol ordered another round of drinks, telling me I owed her. I held up a finger and kept writing.

After about ten minutes, I told Carol she would need about $12,000 to have her ideal wedding. If she wanted anything else, it would take a bit more. “It depends on who you want there.”

Carol laughed. “Like ten people tops. But still, we wanted something in the range of… I don’t know… $400.”

“So you have no money for the wedding at all?” I asked. “Would Steve be okay with you going to Japan?”

“Yeah, hell he would be happy if we could live there,” Carol said. “He’s been studying Japanese for like ten years now.”

I put down the my cup, picked up my stuff, and headed towards the door. Carol quickly scrambled to gather up her own stuff. “I wasn’t serious, don’t go.”

Xxx

Carol caught up to me halfway down the block. I was heading towards Little Blue Casino on Davin Street. I needed a good sum of money, without a big crowd. The devil crows had been scouting places for me, dressed in the illusion of a human.

I preferred to do things the natural way, manipulate the physical world instead of relying on illusions. This would be something for Carol, since I didn’t actually have any use for money. I had it, but it didn’t really ever run out.

I entered the small, mirrored building. There was a man at the door, a rotund gentleman with more hair on his face than his head. The typical retired for hire thug.

He smiled at me. “Ah, Miss Feona, welcome.” I dropped my eyes and he went back to staring out into the street.

“Do you come here often?” Carol demanded.

“Only when I need money,” I said.

“You aren’t going to rob this place, are you?” Carol asked.

“No, I am just going to play some machines. Chill your pants.”

Carol sighed. “Okay.”

She settled down on the stool beside me. I had chosen a machine at the edge of the building, away from the other patrons. I didn’t like smelling the death on some of the old people. Unlike Carol, who smelled like nothing, the rest of humanity was a useless Axe commercial.

I put in ten dollars, pulled the lever, and let my aura do the talking. Within ten seconds, the little alarms went off. JACKPOT. $14,234.

I printed out the paper, took it up to the banker, and got my cash. They forgot to take my picture for the wall. They just handed me the money and I was on my way.

“Did… how did you?” Carol was in shock.

“I sold my soul to the devil,” I replied.

“I am never certain with you,” Carol said.

“Guess you’re going to Japan,” I said.

“Guess… guess I am.”

/r/WritingPrompts Thread