[WP] The Seven Deadly Sins all sit down to decide which one of them should no longer be considered a sin.

We had no idea as to why we were summoned. We hadn’t had a meeting in over 60 years. God isn’t the kind of guy to call a meeting out of the blue for no reason, so we knew something was up. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen all these guys in the same room. Sure a few of us get together from time to time, but we each have busy lives. Especially these days. The population on Earth has hit an all-time high. To tell you the truth I kind of miss the old days when we all lived together. It was an interesting time to say the least. I guess it really doesn’t matter who it is, if you put 7 people in one house it won’t be boring. We all have completely different personalities, so it was a matter of time before we went our separate ways. 
I grabbed some coffee and sat in a chair in the corner of the room. I don’t think the others had even noticed that I was there. I just sat and sipped my coffee as they mingled. As usual, Lust was cracking jokes and making everyone laugh. He’s always been the class clown of the group. He was telling a story about how he met Richard Pryor in Heaven. Apparently he’s still the funniest guy in stand up, even in the afterlife. Greed was practically rolling on the floor laughing at Lust’s story. Greed is the hippie of the group. He’s your typical ‘save the rainforest’ vegan, except he’s not an asshole about it. He claims to hang out with Ghandi all the time, but I’ve never seen them together. Laughing right along with Greed at Lust’s story was Envy. He was always my favorite. He’s a pretty cool dude. He’s really athletic and loves sports. I enjoy sports myself, but am more of a casual fan. He’s full go in everything he does. He has always been super competitive and talented, but a good sport at the same time. He’s the kind of guy that’s in the gym 3 hours a day and then drinks a protein shake before he goes on a jog. Over on the other side of the room near the bar, Wrath and Gluttony were having a much more relaxed conversation. Wrath was a gorgeous red head that could have any man she wanted, but was too much of a nerd to realize it. She’s always been in to comic books and Japanese anime. Before those came out she was really into Greek mythology and ancient Chinese fables. When we lived together she was in an Egyptian mythology phase. She’s always been one of the guys. Now Mr. Gluttony, yes he makes us call him ‘Mr. Gluttony’ to be more polite and proper, is the business all day every day guy. I’ve never cared for him. He acts like he has a stick up his ass all the time, and always thinks he’s better than everyone else. I know that if he could, Pride would have gotten him a long time ago. Speaking of pride, he like me, was sitting on the couch by himself. He has always been a man of little words. He is a physically imposing specimen. He’s about seven feet tall and exceptionally muscular. Even though he hails from Africa, he speaks with a British accent. I’m not even sure how that happened to tell you the truth. I’m pretty sure he was speaking with an Estuary dialect before it even existed.
Then there’s me. My name is Sloth. I like to think I’m just an average guy with an extraordinary job. There is nothing too interesting about me. I wake up and go to work just like anyone else. The only difference is that my bosses rule Heaven and Hell. When I was ten years old I was visited by an angel in the middle of the night. He just stopped by to let me know that I was immortal and that I would be an enforcer for Lucifer. Yup, that’s right. An angel came down and told a ten year old boy that we would never die, and that he would be working alongside Satan himself in the name of God. Pretty messed up right? Well it happened, and here I am many centuries later. I have condemned and saved hundreds of millions of souls in my life, but to me it’s just a job. It’s what I was created to do, and when you get an order from the big man himself, you do it. 
Speaking of the big man himself, where was he? He wasn’t the most punctual man in the universe, but he knows that we all have work to get back to. Just as I had that thought he busted through the giant wooden double doors of his beautiful study. It was almost as if he heard me thinking about him. As soon as I had that thought he turned and winked at me. What a stud. The seven of us immediately greeted him and sat at the table ready to listen to what he had to say. We all knew it was something vitally important. 

“Thanks for coming gentleman-and ladies.” God said welcomingly. “As you all know, humanity is turning for the worse, and faith on Earth is at an unprecedented low statistically.” “Lucifer and I had a talk, and we think it would be best if we made things a little easier on this new generation of humans.” God continued, “Hell is near capacity, and we need to do something about it!” It was strange to hear God sound this way. He sounded worried and stressed. The last time I heard him sound this way was when Adolf Hitler convinced millions of people to commit genocide and attempt world domination-an act that sickened God of course. “Lucifer and I have decided to cut one of the deadly sins to release some pressure on Hell. I know this is a lot to ask of you, but I need you to decide which one of you is the least necessary in this day and age,” God said with a hint of guilt in his voice. “I don’t like it much either, but it is what needs to be done.” God turned around and headed for the door. Before he walked out he turned around and gave one more command, “I need your decision in the next ten minutes.” With this demand he walked out the door, leaving us shocked. We looked at each other silent, each of us too stunned to speak. One of us was about to lose our job that we’ve had for thousands of years, and of course, become mortal! I’ve never really thought about death. I assumed it would hurt. Would it hurt? I just didn’t know. I assume that if the group chose me I would go to Heaven, right? I mean I have been working for Satan, but in the name of God! What was I thinking, of course I would go to Heaven? I was literally sitting in one of God’s Earthly houses right then and there! At this time Mr. Gluttony stood up and spoke, “I believe that Gluttony is an outdated sin, and I volunteer to give up my life for God.” “Oh no you don’t!” Yelled Envy, “You’re not going to just die and go to Heaven to relax while the rest of us continue to work our butts off down here on Earth!” Before you know it all of us were arguing. We all wanted to be the one to volunteer in the name of God. It’s as if all of came to the realization at the same time that we have had always gotten the short end of the stick. We worked and worked and worked endlessly for so long without a break. We couldn’t love, we couldn’t have families, we couldn’t enjoy life as much as a mortal human gets to. As we were arguing, a booming deep voice silenced us. Pride had stood up. “You should all be ashamed of yourselves,” he roared, “We were not instructed to volunteer to give up our missions; we were instructed to decide which sin was least necessary.” He was right and we all knew it. The seven of us sat down at the table quietly. Wrath got up and poured us all coffee. “Okay, let’s discuss then” said Greed. After a few minutes we had our decision. Six of us were to continue on doing the Lord’s work, and one of us was to return to Earth as a mortal. I’m going to miss those guys.

I'm sorry about poor formatting. This is my first post, and I haven't figured out how it all works just yet. Critique is welcome, but be gentle!

/r/WritingPrompts Thread