3. [WP] Something you say offhandedly becomes an inspirational quote

[WP] Something you say offhandedly becomes an inspirational quote

"Hindsight's 20/20 but I knew that yesterday."

"Marriage is like sand, it ends up in the worst places." Not bad, but too negative.

"If I had a dollar for every time that I had made her holler, I would only have 50 cents."

No No No. I was way off track. The night was already on its downward slide from the 12 towards morning and I didn't even have single good idea.

Once I got agood idea I would still have to find a Getty image to match it. Then I had to upload it to Imgur, post it to Reddit, bot it to the front page and make the right comments. Even then there were no guarantees.

Sadly this is my job. I am a viral marketer. I don't really know if I'm good at it but my analytics are good or so I've been told so I guess I've got that going for me.

The problem with the internet is you can't just directly market anything. You can't even mention a product directly or the whole plan backfires.

You see the key is to post a joke that vaguely relates to a product, then post a comment or two that reveals the connection to the product and offers a testimonial about how good it is. Then the pleebs on the site think they're getting in on some new product/service they've never heard of and then... bank.

This of course isn't the only way to market a product on a social discussion board but I plan to keep a few secrets, OK?

So tonight's product was a website for cheaters. My job was to post something funny that got people thinking about affairs then post a few comments that drew people to search for my sponsor.

I know it sounds easy but I think if you really thought it out you would realize just how difficult that could be.

So anyways I think about this one a lot. I'm not married so I have to guess at what it would feel like to be trapped in a loveless marriage.

I immediately imagined an animal gnawing its own leg off to escape a trap. How is that funny? If I were an artist I could draw out the scene of a man trapped under the weight of his overweight wife reaching out in desperation for a computer screen. Maybe not a bad idea but I'm not capable of implementing it.

So back to the basics. Maybe I need to do another TIL and post some inane fact about marriage?

"Love is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one will have a cherry." Maybe Forest Gump could sell this shit?

Nope! That's about the beginning of a relationship not the end... hmmmm.

Then it hits me.

/r/WritingPrompts Thread
Previous
Next

Recently removed from /r/WritingPrompts

[SP] No matter how much you drink you can't forget [WP] An adventuring party is hired to collect back taxes of a local dragon [WP] You wake up in the middle of the night with your paralysis demon cowering in the corner of your room, scared to death of whatever stands at the end of your bed. [WP] In a dingy, cyberpunk city, civility is a word missing from almost every gang's vocabulary, except for one. With the trappings of the romanticised mobsters of the 30s, they're equal parts loved and lauded for their strict code of conduct. You play by The Family's rules, or you're outta here. [WP] Turns out everyone's religion is "true," and they go to the afterlife they believe in most. You, an atheist, have just died. And the universe took you at your word when you joked about worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster. [WP] "Hey man, seeing ya after 5 years. How's life been?", "Just the same old, pal. Nothing much happened.", "Bro... I see you missing a hand and a leg.. your left eye is glowing green.. and your dog is constantly covered in BLUE flames... How in the world you feel nothing much happened?" [WP] An over-thinking scientist continually devises plans to get the main hero to notice them, though all of their attempts end up misinterpreted as desperate attempts to take over the world [WP] A creature beyond comprehension watches you, your every move is narrated in a calming voice all around you that you can’t pinpoint, and you believe you see cameras right outside your field of vision. [WP] While checking out an abandoned island with your new friends, you decide to look at the local pictures online. The only one nearby is a photo of you and your friends posted a month ago, before any of you even met. [WP] a witch is hired by some troubled parents, to frighten children into getting fit. [WP] "Attention, denizens of the Underworld. One among you tried to blackmail me, stating that unless I did as you wish, you would make public photos of me having a 'fairy princess' tea party with my human goddaughter in the Mortal Realm. I released those pictures for viewing myself this morning." [WP] As a little kid, you liked to pull harmless pranks on the local cryptids. As you grew older you realized the danger of going out into the woods and stopped visiting them. Turns out, the cryptids had fond memories of your antics and want to come and see you again. [WP] You are a supervillain who went undercover as a superhero for jokes, only to discover how corrupt the system is in the hero society. The system is so corrupt that you agree to lead a small group of superheroes to rebel against the unjust hero society. [WP] Everyone in the galactic community had heard the tales of Human endurance, it had been the stuff of story or nightmare in the decades since first contact. But nothing had prepared the Galactic Council for the first time a human representative broke out the Filibuster. [WP] You appear in an infinite white void of a room with nothing more than yourself, and a white piece of paper which reads, “You have been banned from existence.”

More Random Comments

Do I need to wipe this grease/oil away? THE SHAFT When could it possibly be more obvious that a Medicare for All type healthcare system, guaranteeing healthcare to all and eliminating private insurance, is an essential and moral reform for the United States? ELI5 how the lyrics to a song can be changed after its recorded. Half of nursing at my hospital is refusing coronavirus vaccination: anyone else seeing this? If you are, have you found ways to improve the situation? How does the system of systematic racism work in the US? Which major stores, restaurant chains are open on Christmas Day? A top r/agedlikemilk post aged like milk. China haters mad 'Unconscionable' on Christmas Eve: GOP Blocks $2,000 Direct Payments for Struggling Americans Mark Hamill, James Gunn, William Shatner Skewer Space Force for Ripping Off Their Franchises Myriad December 2020 - General Discussions and Tips Biden on using executive action to cancel $50,000 in student debt: ‘I think that’s pretty questionable’ TIL out of all the countries that were required to pay reparations from World War II, Finland is the only one known to have paid its bill in full when it sent $300 million to the Soviet Union in 1952. Stop Turkey plz House Republicans block Democrats’ effort to advance $2,000 stimulus checks pushed by Trump