[WP] Super powers are common, but super heroes are rare. It turns out most people don't actually want to face death or dismemberment on a daily basis, including you. You enjoy the 9-5 and having a 401k, but my god that government recruiter won't take no for an answer.

"If I have to say it one more time, I swear to god."

He stood right in the doorway of my workplace again. My shift ended 15 minutes ago. I should be in my car, going home.

"You don't have to say it again! All you have to say is 'yes' and then you're on a fucking red carpet to-"

I stopped him right there. From the ground, stone snakes erupted and surrounded him, poised to attack.

"See! That! That! All the powers of Hades, you could-"

"Do you know anything about Greek Mythology, sir?" I asked sarcastically.

"I mean, the stone snakes are a thing Hades does. And you can enchant things, I've seen you do it! And-"

"Each god in Greek mythology has a specific thing that defines them to the core. Zeus' adultery, Poseidon's chaotic hedonism, Aphrodite's murderous hyper-shipping, but Hades, Hades is known for another thing, do you know what that is?"


"No, you fucking asshole. Hades is known for being dedicated to his job, loyal to his wife, and quite intolerant to bullshit."

He tried to speak again, but one of the snakes struck near him.

"And right now, your bullshit is keeping me from getting home. To my wife. Who I love. So, I swear to all the power within my grasp, including those snakes, the furies which I can summon, my 'enchanting abilities' and my omniscience in places I have domain over, I will not join your fucking death squad, and you can tell that Hermes cosplaying twat to go trip over a ledge and die."

That was a pretty long monologue, go I took a deep breath. And I pointed away from the door, trying to get the bastard out of my way.

"Okay, I understand your frustration, and I'll tell Hermes to get off your case, but if I do, you need to promise to-"

Later that day, while my wife and I were having dinner, pizza, to be specific, my spouse asked. "You've been looking kind of annoyed since you got home, is something wrong?"

I smiled calmly.
"No, dear. I was just thinking I was a bit of a fool not knocking that idiot out sooner."

/r/WritingPrompts Thread