I sat on the park bench outside the trading firm and watched as the stock ticker rolled by. Eventually my name came up and my value was listed. I had seen it several times before, the cold, brutally objective number that summed up all that i was at that moment. I was so depressed and so defeated that its value no longer phased me.

$0.04

I was a penny stock. I had nearly no value to society. I was unemployed, i had no savings, no assets, I was nothing. The only things that were still worth anything was the clothes on my back and the car i was living out of.

It wasn't always like this. I had a Ph.D. in chemistry. My parents had such high hopes for me when they invested in my education. but in a world that had too many chemists, i couldn't find work.

I should have put money on Taylor Swift, or those guys that started Google. I'd be rolling in cash right now. But i was a moron. I choose to believe in myself and put all my effort and investment into myself. Well that was a big mistake.

What really hurts, is not me failing myself, but failing my family. They lost so much on me. They keep saying they know my life will turn around, that they believe in me and they know their investment will pay off. But the numbers don't lie.

At my all time high i was a good $55.43. I was studying at university and i had a steady job as a research assistant. I also did consulting work on the side and I was making a name for myself publishing teaching resources. Everyone around me saw a man that was going places. So they all put their trust, and their funds, in me.

But, it never came to be. I graduated later than average. The job market crushed me, and my clients decided on other consultants. I quickly plummeted to $10.98. Then I got stupid and invested in other people i thought were going to strike it rich. I borrowed money and kept investing. But when the shitty economy got them too their stocks plummeted and i had to sell to pay back my loans. I lost everything. Now i sit as a penny stock.

When you can't believe in yourself, what do you do?

I don't know what to do anymore.