[WP] The time for the Apocolypse has come, but Daylight Savings is throwing everyone off and ruining everything.

They were late.

Thousands of years of plans. His birth, extremely painful death by torture, Resurrection, followed by thousands of years of war and strife over misunderstood messages, and Jesus was sitting there waiting on top of Tel Megiddo. Of course, this is to say nothing of the whole seven angels with seven seals business, wormwood, and seven years of subjecting these poor creatures he loved endlessly to the worst stuff His Dad could think up. That's not even considering the limestone he had his followers dig from the Earth, blessed consecrated personally by Jesus, with tears from His Father, brought in buckets carried by Archangels.

To say that the Lamb of God was angry would be overstating it, but he was definitely something approaching annoyed. I mean, they have to do this thing and he had his Dad's people talk to the other guy's people, and they agreed: Tel Megiddo, noon, today. Now here they are at 12:35 and he doesn't even have the decency to show up on time.

"The art of war is truly dead," Jesus muttered under his breath. At his words one of the Human commanders, named for his beloved Apostle John stood at rapt attention.

"Well, sir. Perhaps they decided to give up," the stocky man suggested sheepishly.

Jesus turned and looked, a massive, comforting, smile coming across his face, "No, my brother, I think not."

They waited a further 25 minutes before, finally, the massive infernal ships came and landed. The Anti-Christ definitely made an entrance. His massive army ringed the shining fort Jesus and his followers had built upon the hill. Given that he was late, he was surprised when his dark opponent came forward, floating on a red spiked platform. He came alone, flying a white flag. He cut an impressive frame standing on the platform, his armor black with long, pulsing veins of red splashing over it. The helmet was a mirror of that of Lucifer's corrupted wicked visage, brow standing prominently, cheeks standing high, eyes sunken, and a pointed chin.

Jesus stood and watched. He knew the white flag meant he was declaring no intention of attack. He also knew that this was the highest general in the army of the Lord of Lies. They'd already been an hour late. He sighed, he bowed his head and silently asked for guidance. As he expected, none was to come his Father had told him He would not interfere at Tal Megiddo.

Jesus started walking toward the gates of the fort. His men threw themselves in front of him to stop their beloved leader from leaving. Jesus stopped and spoke softly, though all heard, "Please, brothers. Let me pass. If he is to destroy me then it is the will of the Father. You must have faith in His path. You are ready, whether I am to die this moment or not."

The men parted as the Sea of Reeds did for Moses. They all stood silently, eyes to the ground as Jesus finished the walk through the fort. He made the long walk across the empty span of desert toward the Anti-Christ. He made no pains to make it a quick walk, perhaps it was a vestige of his humanity, perhaps it was petty, but he'd been on time, he felt no real remorse at refusing a steed.

Then he stood there in front of his opponent. Jesus looked up at him upon his vile throne he gave a slight nod,



"You're late, Damien."

Damien was taken a back, "Late? No...hang on." Damien looked down at the watch at his wrist, "No, no. See? 12:10. You think I'd be late TODAY? I mean, it's kind of a big deal."

Jesus shook his head, "Yeah! It's a big deal, you're LATE." He held is wrist out to Damien, the watch clearly said 1:10, "I mean, it's no big deal, but yeah today is kind of a thing."

Damien looked puzzled, he knew he'd added the right number of hours to make sure that they would arrive exactly at noon. "Look, Jesus, I mean...I think we're missing something here. Do you have a guy?"

Jesus looked at him and slowly raised an eyebrow, a habit he'd picked up from John, "A guy?"

"You know, someone who is like your top adviser?"

Jesus nodded, "Yeah..." The realization dawned on him what he was asking, "Okay, so, your guy will come and my guy will come, and maybe we can figure this out?"

Damien gave a nod, and turned away from Jesus. Jesus turned away from Damien and they signaled, almost in unison waiving a single finger in the air. The men in both camps were surprised to find them using this same gesture. They were all trained that if they saw that one gesture that only their top general was to appear and come forward.

John's blood ran cold when he saw it. He was alright with dying for this cause, but he figured that there would be others... He was now being asked by his Lord and Savior to go walk out onto a battlefield filled with the forces of Satan...alone. Luckily, despite his brain screaming at him not to go, his feet had already started carrying him forward. By the time he was halfway there he started feeling like this wasn't a trick. He and the opposing general had arrived at the same time.

"John," Jesus said, for the first time the benevolent smile replaced with a look of confusion. "We're trying to figure this whole thing out, with him being late and all. It seems like a minor thing, but we're dealing with the fate of the planet here and just, we both want to get it right."

Damien nodded in agreement, "Yeah, I mean... Look you probably think I'm a really bad guy, but I am punctual. I'd never keep you guys waiting TODAY."

John and the opposing general were blown away. They were standing here, in the middle of a field in Israel, the entire stage set for the final battle between good and evil and here Jesus and the Anti-Christ were arguing about an hour? "We--Well, I mean...Did you add the right number of hours," John stammered out in confusion.

"Yes, I added 9 hours!" Damien exclaimed in an exasperated tone. John shrugged, 9 hours was the right amount of time to add from Babylon. He knew that it was somewhere in the south western area of what was the US but he didn't know for sure. He only knew the 9 hours figure because he and Jesus had discussed it the previous night.

"9 hours is right..." Jesus trailed off his brow furrowed. Suddenly John snapped to a realization and turned to the opposing general. "Where is Babylon again? What was the old name?"

After a pause, the general's eyes widened and he answered in a meek voice, "Phoenix..."

John sighed heavily, and began to explain the problem. For a moment he held two of the most important beings in the heavens at rapt attention as he explained the concept of daylight savings time and how in the former US some places followed it, others didn't. He finished his soliloquy and there was a silence that felt absolutely eternal.

"Well, why the hell would you even do that?!" Jesus exclaimed, finally losing his composure...

/r/WritingPrompts Thread